Alma 41:12-15:
I want to share this post not to glory in myself, but to glory in my Jesus, for He hath redeemed my soul from hell today. Truly.
About a year ago, I had a really wonderful trip with my son to the grocery store. His siblings had all gone off to school, and since it was just he and I, I dared take him shopping. Typically shopping with children stresses me out so badly that I will go late at night, when I can go without kids along. But I thought I would try my patience with him, and we ventured together.
Well we had just a truly marvelous time. I felt great success at not having any personal meltdowns inside the store. (Imagine that! A mom melting down with a child in the store!) We loaded all the groceries into the trunk of our van, and he wanted to climb over the seats and play while I returned the cart to the cart return. I was happy to let him do it.
Seeing that my dad and husband both work retail and have to push carts not infrequently, I typically return the carts to the front of the store, because I hope it might be a small service to the folks that work there. On this occasion, I chose to return the cart to the front, since it was decently close to where I parked. We were about 30-40 feet away from the entrance.
When I returned to my car, I got a decent scolding from a mom who observed that I had left my child in the car, unattended. I don't know if she believed it evil that I left him to return the cart, or if she mistakenly assumed that I had gone shopping completely without him. Either way, she unleashed her evil wrath at my horrid negligence at leaving my poor child with a piece of pretzel in his hands.
"He could have choked!" she stressed. Well, obviously he didn't. But SuperMom of the Year felt it her job to correct me, regarding the state laws pertaining to leaving children unattended.
I had simply walked the damned cart to the front of the store. Seriously woman.
Well I googled the "law" she claimed, and found that many states do not permit you to leave your child unattended, period. I read one mom's horrific account of a complete stranger who videotaped her leaving her child in the car when she ran inside for a quick whatever. She was taken to court, lost custody of her child, and had lots of fines and lawyer costs. Her defense was that it was a 70 degree day out, and her son was playing a Nintendo DS or something. He was fine. But the onlooker videotaped her, her license plate, and her son; then they turned her in, and never once spoke to her.
{And lest anyone take this to mean I condone leaving kids unattended in hot cars, that is NOT what I'm doing. I understand the need for the laws to prevent kids being harmed through that kind of negligence. We saw it happen just a few weeks ago, and parents ought to not be stupid about this. It's serious, and I get it.}
Back to the other mom with the kid playing the DS. It was a horrific example of abuses of this law and a complete lack of common sense, or even common courtesy from her accuser. She was put through hell because she left her 9 year old kid in the car, and he didn't want to go inside but was content to play a video game in the cool air.
Well anyways, this put quite a bit of anxiety in me, and I resolved to be careful how I left my kids, and I would also keep my eye out for this woman. Today I saw her again.
I saw her brown car with the white stripe on the top. My hands began shaking. I waited for her to get out of the car to make sure it was her. I pulled up next to her car, peeked in the window, and sure enough, it looked like her. Unnerved, I pulled forward and into the shade, to see if when she got out, her features were the same in my memory. Yep. I watched her and her friend examine something on the back end of her car, and walk into the store.
Recognizing the increase in the shaking of my hands, I pondered what I should do. For a year I've been wondering if she would have confronted me had she realized I'd just simply returned the cart to the cart return. I have wanted to set her straight, and see if her intent was to be a mean human, or if she just jumped to conclusions. I hoped maybe she was just mistaken and had a measure of common sense, and I could go back to dreaming that people in this town were kind and concerned, not concerned and rude.
Eventually I realized I could not walk in the store and confront her, and pulled away, but first wondered what they were looking at on the back of her car. In giving it a glance, I noticed her car registration was expired. Not barely expired, but FOUR MONTHS expired. I pulled out my cell phone, took a pic, zoomed in further, and took a close up pic. Oooh, WOW!!! The woman who had cause to accuse me of breaking the law, leaving my child endangered, and invoking the fear of all hell into me was in the store, leaving her beautiful car right there with an expired registration.
Holy cow. I could so easily accuse her. I could so easily call the police that second and have her car impounded, fined, or something that would give her a true pain in the arse. Jesus take the wheel!
And he did. And drove me to the store just across the parking lot, where my dad and husband were ironically both on shift working. The verses above this post were swimming through my mind.
I shared with both my dad and Dan the scenario. I had evidence in my hands that my previous accuser was driving while breaking the law. Raw, living evidence. Should I go confront her? Ask her to apologize for bringing unnecessary anxiety into my life? Should I ask to be friends, and thank her for caring enough to bring the dangers of my actions to my attention? Should I take my evidence to the police, and let them decide, and tell me if I have any standing for my fears of leaving my kids even momentarily unattended ever since the incident a year ago?
My dad and husband had varying views. Fortunately my dad distracted me with something else, and I had to ignore the severe temptation to confront her and bring contention into my otherwise beautiful day – ironically which was again, a beautiful day with my son.
I let Jesus take the wheel, and drove home. I am learning that something truly magical happens when we go to our Lord for help in situations like this. I used to seek others' opinions or solutions. I used to also trust in the arm of the flesh, and think I had to sort it out, or act as judge and jury, holding onto grudges. But again, LOVE... LOVE wins.
The Spirit whispered that I could go give her a hug. I could offer her a free massage, because obviously she was stressed to approach a stranger and be Mrs. Police Officer. I could ask her if she knew how much her actions bothered me. Or I could simply let Jesus work it out, and let HIM hold the judgment, and take hold of this ONE scenario in my life as an opportunity to forgive as I want to be forgiven. This used to be so hard, but on a daily basis I am finding that the more I call out to Him when my hands start shaking with apprehension or contention, the more quickly He takes over! I love it! It is truly, truly a wonder – wonderful – to behold. He is quicker, more fast acting than any essential oil, vitamin, psychotherapist, or guru. I don't even need to read a scripture verse to call on Him. He's so quick, even if I don't get to call Him by name. I just think of Him, and there He is.
By giving it completely to Him, He offered me healing. All I had to do was let go of the tightness of my grip on the situation.
Thank you, Lord! One step at a time, right?
LOVE to you!
~Jen:)
"And now behold, is the meaning of the word restoration to take a thing of a natural state and place it in an unnatural state, or to place it in a state opposite to its nature?
O, my son, this is not the case; but the meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again evil for evil, or carnal for carnal, or devilish for devilish–good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful.
Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually ; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again.
This is Alma, talking to his son, Corianton.For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all."
I want to share this post not to glory in myself, but to glory in my Jesus, for He hath redeemed my soul from hell today. Truly.
About a year ago, I had a really wonderful trip with my son to the grocery store. His siblings had all gone off to school, and since it was just he and I, I dared take him shopping. Typically shopping with children stresses me out so badly that I will go late at night, when I can go without kids along. But I thought I would try my patience with him, and we ventured together.
Well we had just a truly marvelous time. I felt great success at not having any personal meltdowns inside the store. (Imagine that! A mom melting down with a child in the store!) We loaded all the groceries into the trunk of our van, and he wanted to climb over the seats and play while I returned the cart to the cart return. I was happy to let him do it.
Seeing that my dad and husband both work retail and have to push carts not infrequently, I typically return the carts to the front of the store, because I hope it might be a small service to the folks that work there. On this occasion, I chose to return the cart to the front, since it was decently close to where I parked. We were about 30-40 feet away from the entrance.
When I returned to my car, I got a decent scolding from a mom who observed that I had left my child in the car, unattended. I don't know if she believed it evil that I left him to return the cart, or if she mistakenly assumed that I had gone shopping completely without him. Either way, she unleashed her evil wrath at my horrid negligence at leaving my poor child with a piece of pretzel in his hands.
"He could have choked!" she stressed. Well, obviously he didn't. But SuperMom of the Year felt it her job to correct me, regarding the state laws pertaining to leaving children unattended.
I had simply walked the damned cart to the front of the store. Seriously woman.
Well I googled the "law" she claimed, and found that many states do not permit you to leave your child unattended, period. I read one mom's horrific account of a complete stranger who videotaped her leaving her child in the car when she ran inside for a quick whatever. She was taken to court, lost custody of her child, and had lots of fines and lawyer costs. Her defense was that it was a 70 degree day out, and her son was playing a Nintendo DS or something. He was fine. But the onlooker videotaped her, her license plate, and her son; then they turned her in, and never once spoke to her.
{And lest anyone take this to mean I condone leaving kids unattended in hot cars, that is NOT what I'm doing. I understand the need for the laws to prevent kids being harmed through that kind of negligence. We saw it happen just a few weeks ago, and parents ought to not be stupid about this. It's serious, and I get it.}
Back to the other mom with the kid playing the DS. It was a horrific example of abuses of this law and a complete lack of common sense, or even common courtesy from her accuser. She was put through hell because she left her 9 year old kid in the car, and he didn't want to go inside but was content to play a video game in the cool air.
Well anyways, this put quite a bit of anxiety in me, and I resolved to be careful how I left my kids, and I would also keep my eye out for this woman. Today I saw her again.
I saw her brown car with the white stripe on the top. My hands began shaking. I waited for her to get out of the car to make sure it was her. I pulled up next to her car, peeked in the window, and sure enough, it looked like her. Unnerved, I pulled forward and into the shade, to see if when she got out, her features were the same in my memory. Yep. I watched her and her friend examine something on the back end of her car, and walk into the store.
Recognizing the increase in the shaking of my hands, I pondered what I should do. For a year I've been wondering if she would have confronted me had she realized I'd just simply returned the cart to the cart return. I have wanted to set her straight, and see if her intent was to be a mean human, or if she just jumped to conclusions. I hoped maybe she was just mistaken and had a measure of common sense, and I could go back to dreaming that people in this town were kind and concerned, not concerned and rude.
Eventually I realized I could not walk in the store and confront her, and pulled away, but first wondered what they were looking at on the back of her car. In giving it a glance, I noticed her car registration was expired. Not barely expired, but FOUR MONTHS expired. I pulled out my cell phone, took a pic, zoomed in further, and took a close up pic. Oooh, WOW!!! The woman who had cause to accuse me of breaking the law, leaving my child endangered, and invoking the fear of all hell into me was in the store, leaving her beautiful car right there with an expired registration.
Holy cow. I could so easily accuse her. I could so easily call the police that second and have her car impounded, fined, or something that would give her a true pain in the arse. Jesus take the wheel!
And he did. And drove me to the store just across the parking lot, where my dad and husband were ironically both on shift working. The verses above this post were swimming through my mind.
"...the meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again evil for evil, or carnal for carnal, or devilish for devilish–good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful."
I shared with both my dad and Dan the scenario. I had evidence in my hands that my previous accuser was driving while breaking the law. Raw, living evidence. Should I go confront her? Ask her to apologize for bringing unnecessary anxiety into my life? Should I ask to be friends, and thank her for caring enough to bring the dangers of my actions to my attention? Should I take my evidence to the police, and let them decide, and tell me if I have any standing for my fears of leaving my kids even momentarily unattended ever since the incident a year ago?
My dad and husband had varying views. Fortunately my dad distracted me with something else, and I had to ignore the severe temptation to confront her and bring contention into my otherwise beautiful day – ironically which was again, a beautiful day with my son.
"Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually..."I had asked the Lord after the incident with her a year ago to give me another try. I didn't like how I handled this beast of a woman last year, and I wanted a chance to do better. Here it was. Would I be merciful, vindictive, or exact judgment?
"Judgment is mine, and I will repay."Ok Lord. It's all you.
I let Jesus take the wheel, and drove home. I am learning that something truly magical happens when we go to our Lord for help in situations like this. I used to seek others' opinions or solutions. I used to also trust in the arm of the flesh, and think I had to sort it out, or act as judge and jury, holding onto grudges. But again, LOVE... LOVE wins.
The Spirit whispered that I could go give her a hug. I could offer her a free massage, because obviously she was stressed to approach a stranger and be Mrs. Police Officer. I could ask her if she knew how much her actions bothered me. Or I could simply let Jesus work it out, and let HIM hold the judgment, and take hold of this ONE scenario in my life as an opportunity to forgive as I want to be forgiven. This used to be so hard, but on a daily basis I am finding that the more I call out to Him when my hands start shaking with apprehension or contention, the more quickly He takes over! I love it! It is truly, truly a wonder – wonderful – to behold. He is quicker, more fast acting than any essential oil, vitamin, psychotherapist, or guru. I don't even need to read a scripture verse to call on Him. He's so quick, even if I don't get to call Him by name. I just think of Him, and there He is.
"...and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again."Daymon Smith points out in his Volume One: A Cultural History of the Book of Mormon that these verses are the only space in the Book of Mormon where the concept or word "restoration" is discussed. And it is entirely a different principle than how we refer to the word in the church today. But I really love this teaching, in this accurate form. I wish we would stress it more, as followers of Christ. Rather than exact justice on this stranger woman, I was able to practice extending a measure of good for bad. She didn't even know I was there!!! But here in my hands, I had the power to accuse *anonymously,* or forgive. I could also pretend to be her judge, and confront her with shaking hands and a heart full of fear (which she had dished out, thereby offering my own form of "restoration"), but it felt so much better to give it to Christ, including the fearful, trembling heart. Would He offer me a better reward, for letting Him do the job of judge and jury? After all, He knows her better than I do, and He knows what was plaguing her to say and do what she did. He knows how to teach and coax her better, and He knows that it would do me a world of ill and near heart attack to confront her. Let's test Him.
By giving it completely to Him, He offered me healing. All I had to do was let go of the tightness of my grip on the situation.
For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all."I hope that in this one instance, I (actually, "We") got it right. Joy! Yay! It feels good to know that I can go to sleep, confident that I (We) did what Jesus suggested in this one instance.
"...I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell!" (2 Ne. 33:6)
Thank you, Lord! One step at a time, right?
LOVE to you!
~Jen:)
No comments:
Post a Comment
Has this post affected you for good? Please share your thoughts.