Reborn

Tonight I experienced an awakening moment, where a lot of things came together in blinding realization.

In the Book of Mormon we read about those who experienced the baptism of fire.  They knew it not, because it happened so gradually upon them.  My ah-ha moment came in considering the nature of the covenant of baptism (or rebaptism), and wondering to what degree my soul has been baptized.

When we are baptized, we make a visual expression of our acceptance of Jesus, our commitment to him, and our desire to have our sins cleansed and remitted.

Following (re)baptisms in the Book of Mormon (3 Nephi 11), immediately Jesus teaches the saints how to participate in the emblems of his body and blood.  With all of this there is to be no disagreement nor contention.  In the prayer we illustrate to God that we seek and commit to eat and drink these emblems to "always remember him".  Always is a big deal.  It sounds to me like a pretty serious commitment, especially if it's a COVENANT.  

As I drove home tonight a song came on the radio that is quite an immoral song.  While I try not to be too judgmental, this song glorifies rape and defilation of chastity.  I listened to the catchy tune, the swinging and volleying of pitch.  I remembered seeing a favorite comedian of mine sing this same song with his entertaining band.  Then I remembered an awards show where the band (not the comedian, but the original group) was included in raunchy demonstrations before the crowd, which I can only assume the participants were deluded, drugged, or possessed to do with their bodies what they were doing publicly.  As my mind started getting disgusted that I'm still listening to this song, almost as if he read my mind, my son turned the channel.  Thank you Jesus.

Why did this song turn me off?  Over the last year I hardly have ever been able to listen to it.  In fact, I can hardly listen to any pop music any longer, for many, many months.  Why?

My ah-ha was realizing I have been reborn.  I have been cleansed by the blood of the Lamb.  I have been redeemed, and can no longer tolerate drooping in sin.  The degradation of women, the glorification of sex, drugs, and defiling of anything that is good is no longer tolerable, even for a few moments.

Not that I want or seek to judge those who do.  And not that I did anything of my own merit or righteousness.  But my spirit, my body, and everything pertaining to it has been changed, that it can't withstand these things before feeling like a dog turning to its vomit.  It is repulsive.  Intolerable.  Insufferable.

There is no more tolerance for my personal willful, or blind participation in sin.  I have committed to always remember Him, and choose out of the nonsense.  I can't just zone out and ignore it like I used to.

For this reason I have not been able to peacefully attend church while honoring my conscience.  I have been incapable of acting like I am ok with settling for the doctrine to be defiled.  It's not that I don't want to see my friends, or associate with those I love.  It's that I cannot do it in that venue.  It would be breaking the covenant and I can't do it anymore, despite missing those loved ones.  Only should the Lord direct could I begin again to do so.

Further, I have not been able to pretend that the small things don't matter.  They do.  Where much is given much is required.  Many are called but few are chosen.  How does one be chosen?

So what to do now?  I wait upon the Lord for further light and knowledge.  I hope that by abiding this commitment He will bestow upon me, my family, and those who are wondering what in the world I am doing, great blessings.

Like Inigo Montoya says in The Princess Bride, "I am waiting for you Vizzini!"  "I am waiting for you Jesus!"  Only Vizzini was dead by then, and Jesus is risen, so I can have much more confidence than Inigo had.  

Weight of the World

Have you ever felt the weight of the world?  

Yesterday in Relief Society, the lesson was on President Benson's talk on Pride.  Beware of Pride. The teacher highlighted a scripture, found in Ezekiel 16:49-50.

"Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.  

And they were haughty, and committed abomination before me: therefore I took them away as I saw good."

Our fabulous teacher highlighted the verse for its application to the lesson, namely the featuring of pride.  The other points were an afterthought.  The iniquity of the city of Sodom was pride, as well as other things.

The teacher read the list, took a breath at this part of the verse, and then began into the next verse.

This was the part she omitted: "Neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."

Is taking care of the poor and needy such an afterthought that it doesn't even make it into the list of latter-day abominations?  It is an afterthought!  In fact, a no thought.

As one of the 4-fold missions of the Church, I found its omission in the discussion startling.

I sat there, hoping we would come back to this point.  I waited for someone else to highlight it too.  I even raised my hand at one point, but the teacher didn't see it and was steadily moving on, so I put it back down.  (I've already made a few too many waves of late, so didn't feel like starting another soapbox.)  This day I was not up for a heated heart in a potentially heated discussion.  I think my heart died a little.

WHEN will it be acknowledged a SIN that we refuse to STRENGTHEN the HAND of the POOR and NEEDY?  When will it not be a burden, but a pleasure?

There are so many extravagances in this country.  So many expectations, and taken-for-granteds.  I heard the sisters jump on board in despising pride, yet we walk in it.  We swim in it.  We boast of it!

I posted the following in my Ward Facebook page last week.

Brothers and Sisters, I want to thank _____ ______ for drawing this to my attention today. I hope no one minds me sharing some thoughts about the message she shared.

The cause of the Christians in the Middle East has been heavy on my heart since the start of the new year, when a friend asked me to pray for Baghdad as ISIS was pressing near. I have had my head in the sand politically for a long time, and have simply believed all I could do was pray for these people. _____ shared a link where as individuals we can mark what we personally can do, (at this point it is specifically in pressing the government), together to remove the restrictions for CHRISTIAN refugees. This page gathers our info for how we can commit to help. The Church has committed up to $1 million in donations to this crisis, but it is currently foreign aid only. Currently the US is only open to Syrian refugees, so there is little we can do at home beyond prayer. However the US gov't will NOT justify bringing in Christians. These are our brothers and sisters, and this is not a partisan issue. It is a true humanitarian crisis.

Will you please prayerfully consider what your family would be willing to do to help? I personally would be happy to volunteer any funds relegated to our social activities, ward parties, scouting activities, etc, but I am just one member out of hundreds. Would you be willing to ask that our ward activity funds be offered in service as food, shelter, raiment for these souls? How about our Holiday Dinner funds? We have shown very easily how well we can put together a pot luck for Linger Longer. Can we together voice our support of donation of resources, whatever we may have?

I believe the heavens are watching, truly, to see if we are willing to respond. While there are several organizations I have seen cropping up, asking for donations, I appreciate that this one is not just interested in money, but tangible service, opening of homes, and true agape in the pure love of Christ. I share this here because as a ward family I believe we can do this with greater strength together than separately. I hope the fact that Glenn Beck is a political activist does not repel anyone from considering this opportunity. Last night he spoke in the Brandon, FL, Stake, regarding this opportunity. I hope and pray the message spreads. If you prefer another organization to consider, please, by all means, share some links.

We are on the cusp of the 4th blood moon in a tetrad of blood moons over Jewish holy days. I believe these are signs, just as the scriptures alert. We are being warned. Today marks the Jewish New Year, which Christ would have celebrated the end of the Schmitah, or 7th year, the year of rest. This evening marks the start of a Jubilee year. It is a big, big deal. May we celebrate, please, and remember what Jesus was truly about. Mosiah 3-4.

Thank you, _______, for sharing this. now.mercuryone.org

Would you like to see the follow up comments?  Here is the first, after I tagged the Bishop's wife.

"I appreciate the need for donating to worthy causes. As with anything, each person and family can elect to help. I would caution on expecting the local ward to donate funds. The church has a humanitarian arm where they do what they can and feel is best in the situation. The local funds are set aside for the care of the local members. I don’t know the exact process, but I doubt there are ever excess funds; what is remaining off of events and projects is often put to the members in need. I know that in our hearts we would like to care for those overseas, but the local ward funds are probably not the way to go. This isn’t a commentary on the need or validity of this project. I just doubt that the ward can donate official funds."

Well I expected as much.  Yes, carry on.  THE LOCAL FUNDS ARE SET ASIDE FOR THE CARE OF THE LOCAL MEMBERS.  I DOUBT THERE ARE EVER EXCESS FUNDS.  I JUST DOUBT THAT THE WARD CAN DONATE...

[Ironically, since posting that post last week, Glenn Beck's audience has donated over SEVEN MILLION dollars.  The LDS Church, with its vast resources and reach of over 14 million members, has indiscriminately donated aprox $1.2 million, back in 2012. I have no idea what the total is as of today, however the Deseret News updated their article on 9/14/15 and it circulated as if it were fresh, although written back in 2012. ]

So carry on with your iPhone 6s.  Carry on with your new SUVs and competitive soccer leagues.  Carry on with your Linger Longers, your paper plates and plastic cups (with cupboards full of china and glassware), carry on with your scout badges, your craft parties, your ward budgets designated to buy plastic tablecloths and centerpieces for the chili cookoffs.  Carry on with the corn and mashed potatoes for holiday dinners and the lights and utilities for buildings and temples and shopping malls and billboards and ad campaigns on YouTube.  Carry on with the HeartSell, the paid actors, the MormonMessages, the iPads for missionaries, the General Authority stipends and vacations, the Follow the Prophet, the All is Well in Zion!  Carry on, carry on, carry on!!!

Among the talk of Planned Parenthood selling of baby parts, and boys getting raped in Afghanistan and soldiers being disciplined for not looking the other way, we are ripe.  Let's not even talk about girls who are Activity Day Girls' age getting raped and sold in Syria as sex slaves as our government is giving both money and weapons to terrorists.  Let's not think of the men being CRUCIFIED because they follow Jesus, or toddlers beheaded and left in the streets.  Let's not talk about the mothers being separated from their living children and the culture of death which we ignore.

What if we actually supported a mother in bringing life to this planet?  What if women were paid to bring babies into the world, rather than paying for their dead babies?  What if rather than saying we are pro-life, we quit griping about welfare and supporting single moms who made choices that we don't approve of?  (That's a tough pill for even me to swallow.)  What if we offered a better choice and incentive to KEEP the baby, rather than shaming the woman seeking the abortion?  What if we did this outside of government control, but willingly, such that there were no need for the government?

What if we truly fed the poor, not just food, but true light and knowledge, rather than damning them up, insisting they aren't ready?  What if we lifted them up?

What if rapist men in Aftganistan (and surely other nations) had something better to do with their genitals than screw their sons?  Bastards!!!

What if we talk about the true problem in this world with pornography, and how it is the LARGEST expenditure of money in the WORLD?  How about we talk how to truly overcome it?

This world is so ripe in sin, it is sickening.  This post is dark, yes.  It is not uplifting in the least.  In reading these things I cannot help but weep, feeling the horrible weight of the world on my heart.  Please God, when will You intervene with your earthquakes of which You warned?  When will the earth swallow these horrific sins up, and vomit them out as dross?

But.

The Savior died for ALL these.  All these sinners, these rapists, these murders.  These Satanists.  All these women screaming with pride for their rights to kill their offspring unborn.  All these folks killing police officers as a right of justice.  The men (and hidden women) removing their precious childrens' innocence beneath the sheets.  The thought, just reading the news I just read is nauseating.  It would be better for a millstone to be hung around their necks, but they continue to practice their barbary.  REPENT!!!  Your Allah condones this horror?  Are you SERIOUS?  Your sons are screaming out each night for salvation, and your hellish king says Carry on!?

The one TRUE GOD speaks of REPENTANCE.  Of LOVE.  Of FORGIVENESS.  Of MERCY.  May GOD have MERCY on your hellbent souls.  May you please, please, I beg of you, cease from raping your children, from killing innocents in all lands, and from this horrible, horrible wickedness.  There are people who can help, and there is a GOD who will help if you ask.  May we, as followers of CHRIST

DO

SOMETHING!

The Megamoon and Intercession

I am always, always transfixed when I see a full moon.  I was born on a night of a full moon, and my body and my family always notices when it's full.

Tonight it's a "supermoon", or as I like to call it, a MEGAMOON.  It's absolutely stunning.

Some people say the moon represents Christ.  They say the sun represents the Celestial glory, where the Father, Son and Holy Ghost dwell.  That the moon represents the Terrestrial glory, where the Son and Holy Ghost can go.  And the stars represent the billions of souls, and the Telestial glory.  (See 1 Corinthians 15.)

Remembering Christ on the full moon has been a beautiful thing for me.  I also remember Him when I think of the Sun, as a play on words for the Son.  But thinking of Him on the full moon is fun too, especially when symbolically we have a "blood moon", knowing that we are cleansed through His blood.

One thing I love to consider with the full moon is Christ's intercession on our behalf.  Everything He did was for us, and infinitely He acts as our mediator.  Rather than accuse us, he would seek to show mercy to us for our faults.  He intercedes between us fallen "stars", and links us to the Father, who is full of glory.  It might not be a perfect analogy, but seeing the full moon always reminds me that if I am to be like Him, I ought to consider the idea of being like Him.  How do I do that?  To imitate him in intercession is a big deal, and not an easy one.

One way I believe we can intercede is to pray on behalf of those who are our enemies, or who would spitefully use or abuse us.  There is a lot of talk of abuse towards many I love, as well as strangers.  How would it benefit us, to pray for those who treat us so poorly?  I have honestly felt such a quick lifting out of my sin, also known as hatred, by calling on the Lord for help when the natural woman in me would prefer to strike out in retaliation or hate.

Helaman 5:10:

And remember also the words which Amulek spake unto Zeezrom, in the city of Ammonihah; for he said unto him that the Lord surely should come to redeem his people, but that he should not come to redeem them in their sins, but to redeem them from their sins.    

So frequently when I ask the Lord where I ought to read, I am directed to Helaman 5: 10.  Fascinating how in this verse, Nephi and Lehi are remembering the words of their father, Helaman.  Helaman was asking them to remember the words of his father's friend, Amulek.  Here they tell me this message has been repeated at least three times, telling me how important it is.  (Makes me laugh that I've been led to this verse over and over again as well.)  It links back to Alma 11:34, where Zeezrom is contending with Amulek.

"Shall he (Christ) save his people in their sins?" Zeezrom asks.

"I say unto you he shall not, for it is impossible for him to deny his word," Amulek declares.

Talking to the crowd, Zeezrom tries to lawyer him, twisting his words as though Amulek were saying that he (Amulek) could command God.  Amulek calls him on it.

Amulek says, "Behold thou has lied(!), for thou sayest that I spake as though I had authority to command God because I said he shall not save his people IN their sins.  And I say unto you AGAIN that he CANNOT save them in their sins; for I CANNOT DENY his word, and he hath said that NO unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of heaven; therefore how can ye be saved, except ye inherit the kingdom of heaven?  Therefore ye cannot be saved in your sins."

Having read this a ton of times, I never really understood, but after seeing the shopping cart lady this week, the lightbulb went off!  Jesus can't save me IN sin, but he saves me, lifts me out, and pulls me above my sin.  This is walking me toward that inheritance of the "kingdom of heaven".  He does not want me to be a jerk to those who are jerks to me.  Retaliation is not pleasing to him, just like it doesn't please me when my kids fight.  But Jesus certainly does a fabulous job at lifting me up out of the mire.  

The moon's full circle reminds me that we are to come full circle.  We are to not repeat and recycle our sins, but be lifted out of our sinful behavior and progress.  It reminds me of "one eternal round".  It also reminds me that the light shines on the good and the bad, even though through the daily rising setting it waxes and wanes.  

When I Vote

I fully intend to never make this a forum for political debate.  However there are a few thoughts that I have been considering, as to why I vote without question for who I get to vote for this upcoming election.

(photo source - not sure if it's 100% the original)

I've been pondering a lot lately, the idea of "pro-choice" vs. "pro-life".  My body looks a lot like this one, and as I ponder that fact, it brings me to both gratitude and agency.

Gratitude – I am beyond thankful for my ability to easily and quickly be able to perpetuate life.  It was never a struggle for me, although I usually didn't enjoy the uncomfortable nature of being pregnant.  I am very petite, so when I am "great with child" I really look like a bus.  There is no where for the baby to go but OUT, so it looks like I have a full size basketball under my shirt at about, oh, 7 months along.  I'm jealous of the taller women, who don't become a walking projectile as fast as I do.  And I'm not that proud of sharing my stretched, saggy belly with others, but I also don't worry about it too much.  In heaven I trust all the stretches will be worked out.  Currently it reminds me of my ridiculously awesome children.

Agency –  this is something so powerful that the whole hosts of heaven fought over it.  Children of God found it so important that they took up sides, and some lost their ability to have life.  It is why we are here – those of us who supported agency got the chance to use it.  I am staunchly pro-agency, and I cannot stand it when someone condescendingly tells me to do something I don't want to do.

I am also staunchly in favor of letting the living live, or the conceived live, no matter the cause of their conception.

Life is so incredibly valuable.  The other day I read a very well done article which lays out many details of what is considered and what isn't, in terms of being pro-choice and pro-life.  The author writes in some gory detail many facets of abortion that most of us would rather not hear, and that many blindly ignore.  These are some of the details that affect my vote this upcoming election.

I don't pretend to go and tell people what they should do to their bodies.  I don't go telling strangers not to have sex when they're not married.  I don't tell people to not have babies when they have no ability or comprehension of what it takes to raise them.  I believe life is precious, and regardless of the source of the life, I believe it should have a chance to live, whether it be by rape, incest, or happily conceived in marriage.  Does that mean I think it is easy?  Is life easy for anyone???

When I vote, I will be voting for someone who supports any and all babies' rights to life.  In the United States, one of our candidates believes in letting the local states decide on the issue, although he is personally in support of life.  The other candidate is pro-abortion, and has voted in the past to support partial birth abortion, which is one of the most grotesque, evil, and horrific practices of our day.  I grieve for the state of the soul of the woman who allows this to be done to her child, and the doctors who are so hardened that they can perform it.  If most citizens were aware of what actually transpires in an abortion, I feel their stance on the issue would likely be seriously reconsidered.  Certainly I have never heard a woman brag about how proud she was that she killed the life within her.  And a woman who does this to a child outside the body is hauled off to jail.  The dichotomy makes no sense.

God has already decided what He wants us to do with life.  Jeremiah 1:5:

Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.

We are to value it, above all the riches of the universe, no matter how it was conceived.  We had life before conception, and God knows us personally.  Does he not have a plan for us, who our parents will be, and when we come here, and why?

I hope and pray that politics aside, people will consider life when they vote, no matter who they're choosing between, no matter what country or what position they're voting for.

That's all I have to say about that.  



What do you think? Has this post impacted you in any way? Please share your thoughts, if so.