Raw - No Edits

Our life has been crazy lately.  Words will not begin to describe it.  I have been wanting to write on this and my other blog for weeks, and life has been so chaotic there has been not even a moment to think of what to write.

We have been living on faith, hope, and the literal charity of others.

Our decisions have been based on humility and trust.  We have no idea what we're doing, besides that we're trusting in the minimal inspiration we feel we have received.

We are nearly penniless, but are living at the mercy of loving family members, and legal promises made from documents signed years ago.  I should correct myself.  We are living at the sheer mercy of God.

We are scrounging up hope where there is very little.  So often people in a tough situation are just going through the motions.  I know God requires more, but sometimes, we are in positions where we hang by a thread.  My hope is about the size of that thread, but even threads are strong.  Without them, there is no rope.

I have no point to this post, besides to say that I'm tired.  Nearly every nightly prayer begins with "I feel so tired."  This "major shift" has been in the works for many months now, and we trust that in the end things will work out.  For now, I'm burning the candle at 5 ends, not just 2.  Perhaps my prayers should be more faithful, rather than hopeless.

Anyways... perhaps this appears a bit raw, but sometimes I think we need to put out there how we feel so that when we're back up high on the mountain, we can see where we once stood.  God willing.

Many thanks to my friends who pray for us.  I am thankful for the words of Chrissy: "I hold you high to the Father."  I love that.  Gives me joy.

6 Month Challenge... TA DA!!!

I finished the Book of Mormon in less than 6 months!  And actually, it was less than 5 months!  I've never tried to read it that quickly, even when President Hinckley challenged us many years ago.  But our stake (group of about 10 congregations) issued this challenge, and I did it!  I WON!  :)

What did I win?  5 months of awesome edification.  And I loved every second of it.  The view I got of the Book of Mormon, reading it so quickly, was much more comprehensive, and it allowed me the intense blessing of delving into these inspired words, nearly every day.  I also have a greater confidence that when I do study in the future, I can cover a few verses or many verses, and still be enlightened.

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this book of scripture.

As I wrap up my 6 (5) Month Challenge of this book, I wanted to share what I found most interesting about the last chapter of the book.  Moroni knows that he's wrapping it up, and he leaves some gems to ponder. 

(photo source)

 In the beginning of the last chapter, he exhorts the reader to ask God if the things contained therein are true, and he explains how to understand the answer. (see Moroni 10:3-5)  But then he starts a whole new discourse on spiritual gifts.  It was awesome to read, as this was what I was focusing on as I read the Book of Mormon.  It seems evident to me that the whole Book of Mormon is dedicated to these wondrous events, of spiritual manifestations, testifying that God lives! 

Here's one of my favorite verses:

"And again, I exhort you, my brethren, that ye deny not the ^agifts of God, for they are many; and they come from the same God. And there are ^bdifferent ways that these gifts are administered; but it is the same God who worketh all in all; and they are given by the manifestations of the ^cSpirit of God unto men, to profit them." (Moroni 10:8)

The other day I was talking to a friend, who shared a marvelous gift that a relative had, of literally being able to heal, by taking the illness upon herself, and then somehow discarding it.  People teased that she was a witch, but my friend explained that she was a fully God-fearing, church-going woman.  While no one quite understood how she did it, I say it's a gift.  A spiritual gift, clearly given to "profit" those she knew.  What a blessing!

The rest of this chapter is truly marvelous.  I would share the whole thing if I could.  Like how Moroni goes on to talk about faith, hope, and charity, and how if we lack hope, we're in despair.  And if we're in despair, it's because of iniquity.  Wow.  The things worth pondering never end.

I love this book.  I hope if I haven't convinced those who read this that it's worth reading, that the Holy Ghost will someday testify that it's a powerful book, and written to bring all men (and women, of course) to Christ.  Amen, amen, and amen!

<3, Jen
xoxo