Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation

During the drive home this past weekend, I got to listen to a Catholic Radio Show.  I didn't catch the name of the host or the guest, but the topic was on the virtue of forgiveness.  This really piqued my interest, because there was an issue I was pondering how to forgive for.  It seems to me that some of the biggest burdens people carry, especially in terms of physical weight, is that they don't forgive.  And sometimes it's really easy to understand.

One of the callers asked the host how she should seek help from the church (the Catholic Church) when it was a priest who caused the grievance by their act(s) of molestation.  It was unclear if she had been abused, or someone she loved.  But regardless, it was clear that the question caught the guest off guard, despite his best efforts at answering it.  He seemed to be pulling at straws, trying to find a way for his Church to redeem this woman from her pain.  All the while, I'm waiting for some mention of the true Redeemer.  There was none.

This gave me pause for reflection.  What would I have said, in that instance?  Is not the purpose of life to become reconciled with Christ?  We all cause pain to someone else at some point or another.  And we all receive pain at some point too.  How do we forgive?

Tonight I was also getting caught up on some tv shows I missed.  One of the shows, Once Upon a Time, showed Snow White telling the Evil Queen for the thousandth time that she was sorry for whatever she had done that made the Queen hate her so much.  The Queen was calling for a truce, which required Snow White to eat an apple that would put her in a living coffin of sorts.  To put the burden to rest, Snow White ate the poisoned apple, trusting that the Queen would finally bury the hatchet and let everyone in the land live in peace, including Prince Charming, who Snow loved the most.

Well it didn't happen.

The Evil Queen still hasn't forgiven Snow White, and an evil curse covered the land for many, many years.  It's startling how powerful forgiveness is, and when it's not applied, the one who carries its lack bears the burden–in this case, it was carried by the Queen.

But I believe everyone carries it.  Every person involved in the story carried the burden of living under the Queen's curse.  The energy of the issue was still there for everyone to feel the effects of.

In another random story, I got an email from Dr. Laura, who is vigilant against sex offenders.  She often highlights stories and letters from children (now adults) who have been abused by another.  The bottom line is that there is no forgiveness, and she encourages this view.  I don't know what to think of this.  But as the Catholic radio show guest pointed out, "There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation".  I would never actively suggest someone go reconcile with their abuser.  That's up to them.  But forgiveness?  By encouraging someone to not forgive is encouraging them to continue carrying an awfully heavy burden.  Even when abuse is not involved, to hold out forgiving someone so that they feel more pain from what they did is just cruel.  Adding pain to all involved, holding grudges and withholding forgiveness is evil.  Take it from the Queen.

The bottom line?  Christs asks us to forgive, even our offenders.  It's something He can help us with, if we let Him.

Health Bus: Falling Off

I've heard a lot of comments lately from people falling off their diets.  They have no interest in eating the way they're "supposed to".  What does that mean?  What the diet entails?  Or the plans they impose upon themselves?  I'm not sure. 

(photo source - includes a great article about getting back up when you fall)

 The more I study (or don't study) diet and eating healthily, I'm coming to think more and more that the self-abuse we give ourselves when we fall off the health bus is more detrimental than that actual falling off.  It's sometimes verbal abuse.  It's also mental and emotional abuse.  This is my word to you, if you suffer from this kind of maltreatment. 

Knock it off!!!

Get back on the horse, and start over.  Tomorrow's another day, and even tonight is a new night.  Don't think because you wrecked lunch and mid-afternoon snack that you can't have an awesomely healthy dinner.  (And this applies to much more than just food choices.)

Speaking of which, I ate tons of junk today!  And at dinner, I had a plate full of spaghetti, loaded with tomato sauce, mushrooms, onions, and hamburger.  And while some people might think that's healthy (and others would beg to differ), it gave me a stomach ache.  I realized I had had nothing fresh, nothing raw, and nothing living.  (I cooked the brains out of the mushrooms and onions.  Ah well.)  And I'm not a raw food Nazi, but I find that my stomach appreciates at least a few portions of fresh/raw food each day.  So at 9:00pm, I busted out my apples and peanut butter.  My stomach isn't perfect, but I think this choice worked better tonight than the dose of Tums, or even oils.  I love apples.

Anyways, this is my lecture for the day.  If you've fallen off the bus, wipe off your pants off and get back on.  You can do it.  (And God will help you if you let Him. :) 

Health Bus: Apples with Peanut Butter

It's my first post for the Health Bus!  I was going to call it the Weight-loss Bus, but I don't think these posts will only apply to people looking to lose weight.  They're more geared toward anyone looking to get or stay healthy. 

Too often it seems like people focus on their bad habits.  One person I'm working with seems to always have to confess her "bad" moments, eating one too many pretzels, or indulging in ice cream.  I keep reminding her, "You are NOT BAD!"  What is "bad" about eating such things?  They may not be great for encouraging health, but calling yourself "bad" does nothing to help the matter.  It's like saying, "Don't look at that giant purple panda off the side of the road!"  Instead of looking at the road, the driver naturally focuses on the purple panda, veering off toward it.  Poor dead panda.  

With that in mind, I want to focus on good things.  Often I feel like if someone puts a picture of some good-looking, healthy food in front of me, I'm more apt to eat it!  Sure, I could shovel in Mint Oreos all day, but if you offer me a decent plate of well dressed vegetables, I'll inhale them.  And I would bet most vegetable-tolerant people would. 

That said, here's my inspirational picture for the week.

 
Sliced Fuji Apples with Peanut Butter.  Chunky Peanut Butter.

When I started changing my own diet, I found that rather than changing everything at once, I began substituting my "trouble" food – which at the time was animal crackers – with one vegetable.  (Veggies were my problem food – I couldn't seem to enjoy any of them!)  For me, celery was my substitution of choice. 

I don't know if anyone out there has trouble eating fruit, but for this week, my substitution recommendation is apples.  They're one fruit that is relatively cheap right now.  These apples were the sweetest I've had in a long time.  And if you're one who's worried about sugar content, realize that these sugars are likely much healthier than processed and refined sugars.  So eat and enjoy, knowing you're putting living, healthy food into you!

~Jen:)

p.s. - What are your favorite fruits this time of year?  What's in season where you live?

Disclaimer: The information provided on this post and website should not be construed as personal medical advice or instruction.  No action should be taken based solely on the contents of this site.  Readers should consult appropriate health professionals on any matter relating to their personal health and well being.  The information and/or opinions provided here are believed to be accurate and sound, based on the best judgment available to the author, but readers who fail to consult appropriate health authorities assume the risk of any injuries.  This website is not responsible for errors or omissions.  And please don't eat apples or peanut butter if you are allergic to them in any way.  Don't forget to wear dentures if you have no teeth, as eating apples without teeth may be hazardous to one's health.  xoxo