In the Attitude of Self Righteousness

In my opinion alone, 

I believe the typical atmosphere of Sunday School, Relief Society and Priesthood classes lends to an attitude of contention, self-righteousness, and pride.  I confess I am guilty of these heinous sins and contributing wholeheartedly.  

The constant need to explain our own interpretations of scripture or feel-good quotes lends to the natural belief that our interpretation of the matter at hand is the best and correct one.  We take pride in offering the most unique and thoughtful explanation which no one has considered before.  We do this on a weekly basis, for two hours.  And then some of us go a step further and take it to online forums.  

When we suppose weekly for two hours that our correct interpretation is better than the interpretation of the person next to us, our beloved brother or sister, we fill our hearts with pride.  We place enmity between us, and our heart is grows harder.  

Add to this the preceding hour of talk & testimony of participating in the "one true church" which is more special, peculiar, and wonderful than the church across the way and we have a beautiful, luscious, delicious recipe for pride, haughtiness, and self-righteousness.  We have found and thereby now possess it all!  We have no need for more light, knowledge, or progression.  I don't think that's what the Lord intended when He called us his church.  And I don't know that that compliment still holds true.  Should He join us in our meetings, would He approve of our discussions? 

"They draw near unto me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."  

Not a one of us is guiltless.  At least not this one.  

Bravo, saints.  Bravo, one true church.   

Pride and a Chocolate Pool

Hard hearted

A few days ago I broke my Facebook hiatus.  I had someone sign up for my business services, and part of my service for them includes adding them to a private Facebook group.  So I broke my hiatus in order to add them to the group, and in the process, felt good about sticking around for awhile.  

In doing so, I noticed that the same things that led me to get off of Facebook were still there.  Here are about 15 of favorite and least favorite.  

1. The folks who believe they have to be witty and creative in their posts, still are.  As if they are an artist or poet on display, trying to entertain their "reader" friends with something reminiscent of Animaniacs.  It rarely makes sense and is completely self-absorbed.    
2. Some still complain about their ex-boyfriends, or "smh-ing" every post.  It took me a long time to realize what "smh" meant.  I used to think it was an expression of the mouth, made in exasperation.  Then I realized it meant "shaking my head".  Either way, it verbalizes their expression of public shaming towards someone who obviously isn't reading the post.
3. We need to pray that dominoes don't fall so that the world won't fall apart in September, due to economic, political, and physical continental collapse.  We need to pray, pray, pray, just to make it today, 'as why we pray... (pray!) pray... (praaay!!!)  
4. The world is not going to end in September.  But then again, we are not to "follow" people who say this anyway, so getting hopped up in believing it will or won't end according to these "not prophets" is a good exercise in swimming with the tides.  And we're still all fools for not believing these "not prophets", whichever way they turn on any given day.  Did you know that "Fools!" is the Disney foul-word of choice when the villains are really angry at the protagonists?  {"Fools!  What are you doing?  I told you to follow Ariel to the palace!"}
5. The ward Facebook group continues to be a place for happy thoughts, only now men are permitted into the "Relief Society Gals" group.  Kind of an interesting timing, don't you think? 
6. Du+chs1nse still is right about his earthquake predictions, and will tell you (again) that of course he predicted this, and of course fracking is going to cause earthquakes of monumental proportions, and soon.  Stupid frackers.  And of course the government is trying to marginalize him, because he is doing such a fine job exposing their backroom deals.  
7. We still all matter.  All you black folk too.  And you Muslims, Buddhists, and Mormons.  And you Indians on the Rez.  
8. People are still arguing over Joseph Smith and what he did or didn't do with his genitals.  Let's not worry about what terrorists or human traffickers, or even loved ones addicted to porn are doing with theirs though. Because that might actually make a difference in the present world in which we live.   
9. Some are still facing religious excommunication.  And others are still flying under the radar.
10. Kitties and dog videos are still so cute.  
11. Ben Phillips is still pranking his friend, and his friend doesn't think it's funny.  He still has a mohawk, Just like Ryan Tedder.  Only Ryan Tedder's is cooler, imo. 
12. One of my friends has a new boyfriend.  And the picture of their tongues touching was really kinda disgusting.  Sorry if you're reading this.  But you shouldn't put that stuff on Facebook, ever. 
13. I had two friends I didn't wish a happy birthday. I hope they had happy birthdays!  
14. No comment. 
15. Pride among various groups is as strong as ever.       

Needless to say, I got back off about as quickly as I got on.  Maybe I'll be back, but I found I was just as addicted as I was before I got off in July, despite the ever-so-pleasant observations.  When I look at the time I spent with my kids, I don't regret it for a minute.  Did I miss anything of import?  Is it all just gossip?  Was my life improved?  Did my friendships develop any better with the people entrenched in it?  Most didn't really even realize I was gone.

It surprised me that the relationships that developed the most were with these people who chose to keep up outside of Facebook.  Texts, calls, and visits increased in quantity and quality.  And in returning to Facebook, even for a day, I observed that even the people I previously felt most drawn to were some of the least likely to have any personal communication with me.  The relationships I imagined were there, in all actuality, weren't.  And aren't.  Not that it's their fault or anything.  It takes two to tango, you know? 

In studying the frequency of the words "heart" and "hardness" in the Book of Mormon, I am convinced that Facebook is a place for the hardening of hearts.  It is a distraction, where people like me often forget that there are other people behind their monitors with real hearts and feelings.  There is little effort in self-censorship.  There is little true caring or buoying.  It's a 24-7 war of words, self promotion, and self flattery, even if we think we're putting good stuff out there.  Finding a fitting quote on pride was easy: 

"I think that the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin, but the Bible also teaches that pride is a sin, jealousy is a sin, and hate is a sin, evil thoughts are a sin. So I don't think that homosexuality should be chosen as the overwhelming sin that we are doing today." - Billy Graham

I believe pride and self-promoting found on Facebook are a sign of our times, almost more so than homosexuality.  Take a break and look at how real your Facebook "relationships" are.  Compare it to how much time you spend on it, and divide it by 7. Times your answer by 43 and you'll get how many steps it takes to get to heaven.  Just kidding.

Doesn't this post sound hard hearted?  That's how I felt by the time I got off.


The Pool

We have a pool in the backyard.  I've taken pictures over the years we've had it.  Sometimes it's blue, like when we clean it out.

Sometimes it's green, which is quite frequently, because we can't seem to keep the ph balanced.

And then today, for the first time ever, after re-filling it this weekend, and my dad adding chemicals last night to shock it, it turned green again.  And then I looked a few hours later, and it looked like this.

Coffee!  Chocolate?  Never in my life have I seen a pool this brown.  Never.  I'm sure it's just a chemical reaction.  But worth sharing, for what it's worth.  It took me at least 10 hours to consider that it might be a sign or symbol of some sort.  It will take at least 10 times cleaning the filter before we have any hopes of it becoming clear.  Or we could just drain it and start over, again.

Enjoy!  

Helaman 4:13 - Boasting in Strength

Dear Josten,

I know this is probably strange, reading a letter from your mom.  But I hope you enjoy how the verse I read might apply to you.  Today's verse is Helaman 4:13.

And because of this their great wickedness, and their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength; therefore they did not prosper, but were afflicted and smitten, and driven before the Lamanites, until they had lost possession of almost all their lands.

I read three verses before I came to this one, and this one seemed to be the one I should write a about for you today.  To set the stage, Mormon is talking here, about what's going on.  He's abridging the plates at this part, and narrating.  It's about 31-30 B.C., and Jesus has not yet come to visit the Americas, but the leaders of the people - specifically noted as Lehi, Nephi, (not the original Lehi and Nephi, but Helaman's sons) and Moronihah (Captain Moroni's son) are actively preaching and prophesying.  They are actively warning the people, giving messages directly from God.  This verse lets us know why this preaching and prophesying is going on.

One last thing - a few verses prior to this, we are told that the criticism given is to not only the Nephites, but more specifically to those who "professed to belong to the church of God."  (vs. 11)  That's us.  We profess to belong to the church of God, don't we?

Ok...  so...

Because of their great wickedness - this is the Nephites being referred to.  They were supposed to be righteous, but at this time, they were being directly called wicked.  I bet they thought that so far, they had been God's "chosen" people, so they probably thought that they would always be safe and clear from being condemned, or put down for their faults.

Part of their great wickedness included their boastings in their own strength.  What does boasting mean?  It means they bragged, and made it clear that they could do things on their own.  Sometimes we like to think we can do things all by ourselves.  We think that it's good to be self-sufficient, and our society usually thinks "pride" is a good thing.  We say, "Oh, I'm so proud of you for _______."  In actuality, being proud is never referred to as a good thing in the scriptures, and always is a negative quality.  So when the Nephites boasted in their own strength, it meant they didn't rely on God anymore.  They thought they could do it all by themselves.  This isn't to say we don't do the best we can, but it's always important to acknowledge God's hand in our success.  Without doing so, we are boasting in our own abilities.

Because of their wickedness and boasting in their own strength, they were left in their own strength.  I like to think of this in terms of group projects at school.  One person can say, "I'll do it all by myself," and they'll complete the group project on their own.  When they get a sucky grade, they realize that if they had asked the rest of the group for help, it would have likely been a better grade.  That's completely how it is with Heavenly Father.  Except that He does most of the work, and we like to think we're doing something much more than we are.

Therefore they did not prosper - this is a direct result of them trying to do the group project on their own.  They got an F.  I bet they wished after the fact that they had asked for a little help.

Due to all this, they were afflicted and smitten.  Do you wonder what that might mean?  How have you been afflicted and smitten in your life?  Do you remember how or what happened?  I remember sometimes feeling afflicted when I got sick for months on end with mono in college, and on my mission.  I knew I could be healed in a Priesthood blessing, but blessing after blessing, I waited for healing.  I wondered if I was doing something wrong, or if maybe God was punishing me for doing something wrong, whatever it might be.  No one would tell me that, but I still wondered.  Eventually I did get better, but it took time.  It wasn't like watching those guys on tv, hitting your head and telling you to "be healed" or "be saved".  I know some people have quick results with Priesthood blessings, but for me, time was always a factor.  Maybe Heavenly Father wanted me to learn something by being sick?  I think so.  Maybe it was a result of my body saying it needed more rest than my mind would give it.  Anyways...

And what does smitten mean?  I think it somewhat goes hand in hand with the next line, which is that they were driven before the Lamanites, until they had lost possession of almost all their lands.  I imagine being smitten means being beat up.  We're very fortunate and extremely blessed to have been born to live in a country where we don't have to live in fear of being smitten.  But this freedom is not necessarily guaranteed, and if the people in this land seek wickedness and to ignore the Lord – like what happened to the Nephites after they had been here in this promised land – we too might find ourselves smitten and driven before our "enemies", until we lose possession of almost all our lands.  It might be gradual, or it might be more direct, through war.  Thus far in our lives we have never experienced war, or fear which many in other countries have to worry about.  It is so important that we do everything we can to not forget God in our lives, daily, so that we may enjoy freedom.  

This is not to say that we won't ever experience being affliction or being smitten or driven from our homes or land.  Life is not guaranteed to be pain free.  But on the whole, and in general, I feel that no matter what, God can at least give us peace while we endure trials.  And I still have hope, that as a whole, the people of this land could achieve a state of Zion if they wanted to.  It happened in Enoch's time, and there is nothing in our time saying this is impossible.  

Love you babe.
~Mom <3  

Pride, Haughtiness and Humility

Today we had guests for dinner, to include the missionaries serving in our area.  In the process of sharing conversation, we had the opportunity to discuss situations with previous missionaries, and I realized that some of what we were saying might not have been interpreted as nice, and would not have been something I would have shared with the person we were talking about, had they been present.  Realizing I don't want to talk like this about people, I suggested we change the subject, but the elder asked why I (and my family) felt the way I did.  I suppose he wanted to hear what was considered rude behavior by me, perhaps so that he could avoid doing what the previous missionary had done.

As my husband and I tried to pinpoint what was really that offensive about the previous missionary, we somewhat nailed down that the issue at hand was a bit of pride.  This previous missionary always had a "one-upper" – whatever we were talking about, this person could share something that was bigger, better, brighter, or whatever.  They could always "top" the story we were sharing.

After discussing this situation, I remembered a different missionary from years past.  It has probably been well over ten years since this other missionary served here, but I was so impressed by him that I still remember his name.  He worked a crowd like few I have seen.  He knew how to bring joy to the room, give a great discussion where the peace of the Spirit was felt, and dispelled contention.  He was not pretentious, haughty, or proud.  I felt humility from him, and never felt pompousness or self-righteousness.  This did not mean he didn't know the gospel or the scriptures, but he didn't judge you if you didn't know them, or try to out-do you.

The two missionaries I recall were both male and female.  Both surely worked hard, and were "good" missionaries.  Both were imperfect, and I remember both by name, years after they have left our ward.  If I had a chance to emulate one or the other, or consider which was more Christ-like, it would surely be the second.  He hadn't traveled as much as the first, didn't have quotes and citations memorized, and was not necessarily "booksmart", but he carried the Spirit's presence with him.  

Church Clothes

As the weather's been slowly turning to cold in central Pennsylvania, I've been pondering a few things about clothing.  Most of my clothing are bagged up in a storage unit in Utah, so I've been rotating the same 3 pairs of pants each day.  Realizing that this is more pants than many people in the world even own, I've tried reflecting on gratitude, and enjoying this more simple wardrobe.  (Thankfully, I have about 20 shirts to rotate through, but they're mostly solid colors.  I have to wonder if people get sick of seeing me in another crew-neck, bright colored shirt with the same cardigan over it.)

Last week I talked with my friend, who shared an experience of a little boy in church who couldn't afford anything but his play clothes to wear to church.  He typically showed up in jeans, until the Sunday when his Primary President pointed out in her lesson how it's important to not wear play clothes to church.  Of course, she didn't single him out by name.  But this was the last Sunday my friend has seen him at church.  Do you think he felt a little unwelcome?  Or maybe he went home and told his parents, "I'm not allowed to go to church unless I have dress pants."  I wonder if any of the other kids felt inclined to tease him or laugh at his jeans.

(photo source - what a great dress code website!) 

When I hear stories of this, I'm tempted to wear pants to church.  That, and the fact that the guys in suits get to control the thermostat, while I'm culturally expected to show up in a skirt.  No one prohibits me from wearing a suit like them, but surely I know I'd get the looks, and most certainly a joke from the members who think I should know better... like my mom.  

Beyond me wearing pants, however, I understand we're expected to wear our "Sunday Best".  But who determines that?  Would Jesus show up to church in a suit and tie?  Or would he make sure his hair were parted on the side, and slicked with hair gel?  Would it be trimmed above the ear and the collar?  Just curious.

(Another great pic from Ben Lippen Dress Code's blog. Don't know where they got the pics, but thank you!) 

Alma warns us of becoming lifted up by our "costly apparel" and our cultural expectations.  We hear about this in Alma 4: 6-15.  I'll share verse 6 and 8.

And it came to pass in the eighth year of the reign of the judges, that the people of the church began to wax proud, because of their exceeding riches, and their fine silks, and their fine-twined linen, and because of their many flocks and herds, and their gold and their silver, and all manner of precious things, which they had obtained by their industry; and in all these things were they lifted up in the pride of their eyes, for they began to wear very costly apparel. (vs. 6)

For they (meaning Alma and other leaders) saw and beheld with great sorrow that the people of the church began to be lifted up in the pride of their eyes, and to set their hearts upon riches and upon the vain things of the world, that they began to be scornful, one towards another, and they began to persecute those that did not believe according to their own will and pleasure. (vs. 8, words in italics added by me) 

These people had been a humble people, and because of their humility, they began to be industrious and prosper.  Because they became so prosperous, they then became lifted up in their own eyes, and changing their priorities, such that being scornful to one another did not cause them to realize their growing lack of charity – or pure love of Christ – toward one another.

So dare I wear pants to church?  Will I get persecuted?  I'm not really one to care to perform social experiments, just to see if I can get people riled up.  But I'm almost tempted to wear pants, just because it really doesn't matter, and it might just help some future investigator feel a little more comfortable being in our houses of worship.

And to push the issue farther, I'd wager a guess that no where in the scriptures does it say that women need to wear a skirt to church, little boys need to wear polyester pants and not jeans with holes, and that men must wear a tailored suit with tie to be appropriately dressed.  I can guarantee that little boy in my friend's church didn't care that his pants didn't fit the bill, until sister Primary President ridiculed him, albeit not by name.

This issue grieves me.  I know it's not that big of a deal, but it was big enough for Alma to give up the judgment seat when this kind of pettiness happened in his day.  He gave it up to Nephihah,

And this he did that he himself might go forth among his people, or among the people of Nephi, that he might preach the word of God unto them, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty, and that he might pull down, by the word of God, all the pride and craftiness and all the contentions which were among his people, seeing no way that he might reclaim them save it were in bearing down in pure testimony against them.  (Alma 4:19) 

What do you think?  Has this post impacted you in any way?  Please share your thoughts, if so.