Know it All

What an amazing time to be alive!

For context of this post, watch a few dozen seconds of the video here.

So much information right at our fingertips. So much false information easily debunked, and the replacement then quickly debunked, and debunked, and debunked. It's almost too much to sort out sometimes. 

A friend told me years ago to "hold all revelation (information) loosely", and what wise advice that has been. When you claim humility and openness to more truth, you're able to receive more. To claim pride and know it all already, there's no room for more. 

Only recently we could see that inside an atom were protons, neutrons, and electrons, and we trust that super-powered instruments were and are telling us the truth. But the truth is, we're only told that, by people we "trust" to be honest.  Are they honest?  Can you name who discovered the quark?  Who named it?  

Only recently do we hear of people re-doubting the heliocentric model of the universe, reverting to previous theories of a flat model. How can anyone claim to know it all? 

Setting down stakes for truth only proves ignorance, because you can see an individual quark no more than I can see the outermost star.  But in truth, you can see a quark, as it supposedly makes up everything around you.  

To claim to know God, based on old books, or to have searched the universe and not found God anywhere and assert God is no were to be found are just two sides of the same coin. 

Now, to believe, that's where the marvel, awe and wonder are found, because it allows for revelation of MORE, whether it supports or refutes the claim. 

But to make a decision only asserts you know it all, and none of us do, unless we have our own evidence and personal witness.  

Lack of tangible evidence does not mean something does not exist, just as I have no evidence of the presence of atoms, quarks, and whatever else is smaller than a quark.  Must I believe your witness?  Or some unknown scientist?  Not all evidence must be tangible, as I can assert I ate chicken salad last year for lunch, but can't prove it to someone any more than you can prove to me whether or not you stopped at a red light this morning.  I can't prove to you how a cell phone works on invisible connections, but it works.  Sometimes our evidence IS invisible.  That doesn't mean it does not exist. 

Falling Back

Trust God today.  Fall back, arms wide, and trust.  

CONTROL, COERCION, FORCE

Yesterday my mother asked me why people chose Satan's plan.  She couldn't comprehend why so many would follow him.  It's easy.

You never fail with Satan.  He controls all the outcomes, not one soul is lost.  Everything is neat and tidy.  Just like in the movie, The Giver, everything is just perfect.  Follow all the rules, per force.  Do it, or else, and all will be "good".

This appeals to a lot of people.  Despite choosing Christ and Father's plan, we have millions of people who are content to lead lives of complete control, manipulation, and coercion of others.  They make demands, whether implicitly or subversively, of all those around them.  They voluntell people what to do.  But yet they have no idea that they are seeking to control another human soul, and to suggest such would cause complete confusion in them.

"Me?  You're saying I am controlling?  Bah!  Horse feathers!"    

There are very few things that draw out the wrath in me like another human soul telling me what to do.  I hate it beyond measure.  And when I say wrath, I mean absolute cursing, throwing, wrath of God type anger.  Should this world choose to enslave all its inhabitants, I would rather die than be a slave to an unconscionable soul, or even a righteous one.  I want freedom.  

I'm done with Satan's control.  Time to wake up, world.  Control freaks.  Wake up.  You're following the devil.

What of a Store-House?

I believe there are generally four (plus one root) main considerations to ponder when considering the state of the soul.  They are: 

Physical.  These are temporal things, such as food, shelter, clothing, and things to support the comfort and health of the body.  

Emotional.  These are things which often get upturned because there is some disconnect between the needs of the physical world, and the needs of the next, which is

Mental.  These things are things of the mind.  When the mind is sound, the emotions are too.  When the mind is unsound, the emotions are often on fire.  The mental things are based upon the

Spiritual.  These are core beliefs.  These are the things which we believe are the foundation in our existence in this world.  This is how we make sense of the world, and how we connect with 

God.  God is the root of the core.  When there is harmony with God, all else makes sense, and ripples out to eschew GOOD in the world.  When there is disharmony or confusion with God, this ripples out too.  For example.  

If I believe it is important to God that I arrive 15 minutes to church, because He values me attending church, that will affect my belief that should I break this "law", that my spirituality is in jeopardy.  That perhaps I am not being obedient to his requirements.  So I make every effort to arrive at church 15 minutes early, because that is what the people who I believe represent him suggest I do.  So I attempt to obey them, as though they were God.  

Let's say my personal bodily needs disrupt my timetable, and I cannot make it early.  Let's say other factors like unexpected snow to clear off the car, heavy traffic, or unsafe driving considitions affect my plans, causing me to be late.  Let's say I'm so late that I expect I risk missing the sacrament.  My spiritual belief now impacts my mental belief, of that it is necessary for me to "renew my baptismal covenants" in order to have a good week.  So my mind is deeply concerned about my upcoming week.  

The mind then hollers at the emotions: STRESS!!!!!  PANIC!!!!!  YOUR WEEK WILL NOT BE GOOD IF YOU DON'T DO THIS NOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

The physical body tightens.  The blood vessels constrict.  The heartbeat races.  The muscles clench, as do the teeth.  The strain is now palpable, all because I believe God wants me at church 15 minutes early to be in good favor with Him, and now I'm 20 minutes late and counting.  How will I survive the week without this holy sacrament???  

Is this of God?  Is this truly what God wants of us?  Do we now self-shame, since we are not getting up or moving to get to church on time?  Is this "righteousness"?  

Let's look at another simple concept we may need to rewire.  The Bishop's Storehouse.  There are plenty of thoughts in the Bloggernacle on how the Church(TM) is using tithe monies of the members.  I won't get into that, as there are plenty of voices already on the subject.  I want to propose a new thought.  

We perceive that the Bishop's Storehouse was a place to store wheat or other foods to take care of physical needs.  We presume that Church supports us in supporting our spiritual needs.  The education system supports our mental needs for growth, and the emotional stuff is left to the doctors and "professionals".  (Whatever.)  However  as Latter-day Saints, we suppose that if we but pay our tithing via credit card online, via check in an envelope, or pennies in a jar, we are covering the Lord's requirement for us to take care of the needs of the poor.  What if there is more required?  Physical, emotional (covered through visiting/home teaching?), mental (provided in BYU and Institute), and spiritual (of course this is church, right?).  What have we lost through our modern age, that could easily be reinstated?

Could you imagine if one (or more!) member(s) in the ward actually offered a true, real in the flesh, Store-House?  That there would be a place where excesses could be gathered in, and offered as a free store?  Our local community has three thrift shops now.  People donate things but others are required to pay for them.  What about a place where people could bring their extra unused/unneeded but open packages of diapers, or extra furniture, or extra lettuce and grapes, extra blankets, extra baby gear, extra books?  The Store-House could be utilized by anyone, but most especially members?  What if the things provided there actually helped meet the needs of the members at large, and were offered to any of the needy in the community?  It could be returned when use is no longer needed (like books) and if not, there would be no loss or harm done?  

There would be no need for members to struggle with hoarding tendencies.  Likewise no need for "use it or lose it" philosophies on tithing funds, because the excess could be returned to Salt Lake for real redistribution to the poor in other lands who truly need it.  What if we built a true Bishop's Store-House?  

What if the word Storehouse meant both a place to store excess things, and a place to obtain that which is lacking?  Would you be willing to erect such a structure on your property?  I wonder what the Lord would think of this proposal?  

I sense that there is so much lack in the world right now, while we sit in abundance.  Yesterday at our local ward, I observed such overt expression of wealth that I left in complete dumbfoundedness.  You know a group of people are wealthy when they see no need to donate their excess to the poor, but would rather haul it off to the dumpster in the back of the lot because their time is worth more money. I'm talking books, manuals, videos, cassettes... things that are now so obsolete to us but surely folks in other lands would love these excesses.  

Last year (or was it two?) we cleaned out the storage closets from years of presidencies storing up their "use it or lose it" purchases.  We had boxes and boxes of items, much of which the leaders desired to go in the trash.  The RS President had the good sense to shuttle things to a local charity, but I was surprised at how many members were quick to opt for the dumpster.  Ironically there was little discussion among auxiliaries about reusing the items they no longer needed – things like glitter, rolls of hundreds of feet of paper, ribbons, costumes for road shows, lots and lots of fabric, mason jars, endless baskets, dishes, pots and pans, and even a pair of hiking boots.  If you're reading this from Africa, Argentina, or Mexico, how does it feel to know there is a use-it-or-lose-it mentality in your Stateside brothers and sisters?  How does it feel to know you tithe your last 25 cents so you could be cleared to receive your temple recommend, to know that members in the States get to spend $3.75 per scout badge that sits on a bookshelf somewhere?  Members in the States, how do you feel about this?  Do you have comforting consoling words on how you might have been more righteous in the pre-mortal world, to justify you receiving more by nature of your birth?  Or do you suppose that you work harder, therefore receive more, which is the doctrine of Korihor?  

Well I'm getting off on a tangent.  This is just hot on the mind due to seeing deacons shuttling stacks of books which I suggested be donated.  Rather than shuttling them to someone's trunk, they shuttled them to the garbage.  It felt symbolic.  You see, in Sunday School for the past two weeks they offered these books to the members.  Take them or they're going to be disposed of at the end of yesterday's meeting, they said.  I proposed that they be taken to charity if left at the end of the meeting.  A member balked, "What charity will take them?"  Um, last I checked charities don't discriminate from drop offs.  These books and manuals could serve as missionary tools.  I proposed the local Goodwill and another charity.  The Deacon's Quorum Leader interrupted that anyone who wanted to do this would need to take it up with the Bishopric.  I then met a counselor in the Bishopric, who said that if someone wanted to donate them, they could take initiative and do that.  

The end of the third hour came.  I headed to pack up the books, but to my surprise, the Deacon's Quorum Leader was so swift to put those deacons to work that half of the offerings were already in the trash four minutes after the end of meetings.  He was determined to get his job done, and do it quickly.  (What thou doest, do quickly.)  

How did it feel symbolic?  These were "old" manuals.  Manuals from the last 30 years of Priesthood and Relief Society.  The old is no longer needed when you have living prophets and apostles.  There were old Conferences on cassette tape.  Old Seminary videos I grew up on.  The Book of Mormon on tape, and Hymns on tape.  (Who even has a cassette player, right?)  Out with the old, in with the new, the old doesn't matter, it's only about you.  

Friends, we are amazing and astounding, aren't we?  We rob the poor because of our fine sanctuaries.  We neglect the beggars who can only beg at thrift stores, by refusing to donate because we are too busy.  We put our money on a slip and feel that's sufficient.  I propose we build a real Store-House.  Find a shed and build your own, because I don't foresee the local Bishop accepting chicken eggs anytime soon.  No offense, Bishop.  But like you said, you don't have the resources to do such a thing.  

Not a Magic 8 Ball

Alma 37:38-47.5, with my own punctuation.

And now my son, I have somewhat to say concerning the thing which our fathers call a ball or director or our fathers called it Liahona, which is being interpreted a compass.  And the Lord prepared it, and behold there cannot any man work after the manner of so curious a workmanship.

And behold it was prepared to show unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness, and it did work for them according to their faith in God.  Therefore if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold it was done.  

Therefore they had this miracle and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God day by day.  Nevertheless because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works they were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence.  And then those marvelous works ceased and they did not progress in their journey, therefore they tarried in the wilderness or did not travel a direct course and were afflicted with hunger and thirst because of their transgressions.  

And now my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a shadow, for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper, even so it is with things which are spiritual, for behold it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.  

And now I say is there not a type in this thing?  For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers by following its course to the promised land, shall the words of Christ if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.  O my son do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way!  For so it was with our fathers, for so was it prepared for them that if they would look they might live!  Even so it is with us, the way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever.  And now my son see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea see that ye look to God and live!  

I had a rich discussion with a friend the other day.  She is a saint in so many ways.  Much of what I was saying seemed to be going unnecessarily far for her.  She asked, "But don't you think that just by being a good person, we can get there?"  She didn't see any problem with the drumbeat of "Following a Prophet," and figured as long as she did what was asked and served and was a good mom, her case was in good shape in the eternal realms.  Never mind what D&C 76 says.

In many ways I feel like she is in good shape, and it's not for me to judge.  But by taking out our 2nd hole of earrings because a man says so is indicative of our reliance on a Magic 8 ball, rather than a Liahona.  There is a difference.

When we use a Magic 8 ball, we shake it and ask a question.  We hope and hope and hope with all our might that the ball will give us the answer that we want.  We ride things out on superstition, and play along for fun.  The risks are not high, and we can be pretty slothful and come up with some less-than-serious questions.  Like "Will I marry Ricky Martin?"  Shake the ball, and get your answer.  It's pretty easy to disregard.  

With the Liahona, it did not work dependent upon the user's faith in the compass.  It was not a Magic 8 ball.  (Don't you think it's peculiar that we have a knockoff variety of the Liahona?  Does Satan have his imitation here?)  The Liahona strictly worked according to their faith in God, which was reflected in the action of the spindles.  They had to believe God was operating it and leading their journey, and they had to be full of faith in HIM.  If they were not faithful in the simple things, it would not work, despite their best hope and hope and hope and hope that it would work.  I can just see some of the guys complaining that the stupid thing wasn't working.  Perhaps they even began believing in the ball more than God himself?  Well how's your faith?  Do you have faith in a dead ball or in the living God?  That is the easiness of the way.  How easy is it to not even take the effort to notice the difference between a person/place/thing whose works are dead versus the living God?   

We Need More Jesus

Two Sundays ago, this letter was read in our combined Priesthood/RS Meeting, regarding the Church's position on same-sex marriage.  A friend of mind asked for some practical applications on how to act in response to this, especially at church.  She didn't really enjoy the answers given, so I offered her two thoughts.  I'll elaborate one here, prefacing it with some scripture.

When Alma and his brethren/friends were visiting the Zoramites, he was lamenting their odd sense of worship.  In fact, it tormented him such that he began calling out to God.  I want to call into question some things he says that were we to imitate, we may find a bit peculiar.  

Alma 31: 26.  O Lord...

Alma 31:27.  O God... O God...

Alma 31: 28.  O my God... 

Alma 31:30.  O Lord God... O Lord...

Alma 31:31.  O Lord... O Lord... 

Alma 31:32.  O Lord... O Lord...

Alma 31:34.  O Lord...

Alma 31:35.  O Lord... O Lord...  

13 times.  He calls on the Lord God 13 times in one prayer, and he was not specifically (or only) using the name Heavenly Father, as we often do.  Was Alma's prayer ineffective, because he used "vain repetition" of the word Lord or God, and did not address his prayer directly to Father?   

Alma 31: 36:  

Now it came to pass that when Alma had said these words, that he clapped his hands upon all them who were with him.  And behold, as he clapped his hands upon them, they were filled with the Holy Spirit.  

I told my friend we need a lot more Jesus in our meetings.  If we had so much awesomeness in Jesus, so much sincere prayer, calling without shame on the name of our Lord, we would have no need to distract over what issues are sin, because we would truly have no desire to sin.  We would be healed weekly.  Liquidating sin is cake once you really know Jesus.  I have to wonder if the clapping of hands and filling with the Holy Ghost looked a lot like this video depicts, in the streets of Vegas. 

After Alma clapped his hands on his friends, and they were filled with the Holy Ghost, here's what happened next.  

And after that they did separate themselves one from another, taking no thought for themselves what they should eat, or what they should drink, or what they should put on.  

And the Lord provided for them that they should hunger not, neither should they thirst; yea, and he also gave them strength, that they should suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ.  Now this was according to the prayer of Alma; and this because he prayed in faith. 

O Lord, my God, bless us with more faithful prayers, even like unto Alma.  Let us not be afraid to truly call out to You in pure faith.  

What do you think, Jesus?

If you told me a year ago that the Church does opinion polls to gather the insights of its members, I'd have probably been skeptical.  I read about it in various blogs, but just didn't pay much attention.  However in the last 11 months, I've received 6 invitations to complete an opinion poll for the Church.  I have completed every one I've been asked to complete.  The topics have ranged from gay marriage to youth issues (I'm not supposed to discuss them with other members, like you people reading this) to other procedural things which I don't really recall.  At first I felt obliged to provide the info, but I noticed afterwards that I indeed felt quite slimy.  Why?

Well probably because I felt like I'm contributing to a Wizard of Oz scenario.  We believe in modern prophets, modern revelation.  If we believe in these, then why would there ever be a need to opinion poll, ANYONE?

When I presented the fact that I've received 6 invites in less than a year to my husband, he said, "You know it costs a lot of money to have polls done, right?  Like Scott Rasmussen and Zogby are making bocu bucks.  Like millions...  You've gotta pay someone to come up with the questions, to send out the letters, to gather and collect the data... yeah, it's not cheap.  They're probably having focus groups and such.  At the end of the day who cares?  If you're trying to get the pulse of the Church members... why do you need to poll them?  Did King Benjamin have focus groups and pollsters going around?"

I don't know what cost this comes to the Church at.  Probably much less, I would think, seeing that it's an in-house operation.  And to be honest, this post isn't about nit-picking at money.  But it is about bringing to light the fact that this is going on, and if you know me, you know I'm anything but a liar.  And I just got my 6th survey request.

I'm not supposed to say what the topic for this one was about, but I will say that I let them know I don't see the need for opinion polling if we are a church built upon living revelation.  Are we not?  If God is directing the Church, which "god" are we serving by asking mortals what they think about every jot and tittle, and then shifting policy, procedure, or in this case, resources to match the trending beliefs?  Shouldn't we be more concerned about asking Jesus what He thinks?    

Typhoon Missionaries

This evening I read a beautiful poetic article about LDS missionaries pulling faith from fear during Typhoon Haiyan.  You can read it here, for it is the reference point for which this post is made.

(photo source: Ravell Call, Deseret News)

The story elaborates about how several sister missionaries survived the recent storm.  Miraculously they were provided a way to escape the aftermath, which is unfolding for those who were not so fortunate to find a way out, who likely remain fighting for scraps of food in the desolation.

After reading the article, and pondering the idea that many around the world would do anything they could to be drop-shipped to the Philippines to be able to help the survivors, I am scratching my head as to why these 204 missionaries were pulled out of the country.  Death is all around.  People are desperate for food, and it's likely pouring in, although probably no where near what is needed to survive.  Maybe that's why.  Maybe they needed to get out of the devastation, and allow food and resources to go to the locals.  My mind and heart are wondering, what are missionaries for, if not to serve?  Their job is not only to teach, or is it?

Recently I read on a blog where the author had a suggestion for what they hoped would be announced at General Conference regarding missionary work.  I really liked it.  They supposed how cool it would be for missionaries to be able to dress in regular clothes, and be out ministering through service to the local communities.  At 5 pm, they would get back in their suits after dinner, and spend the evening proselyting with the help of members at a time when fathers are generally home, and the elders (at least) can get into homes without having to reschedule until there is another male present.  I really loved that idea, because it seems like knocking doors is not the most effective way, at least 24-7.  But getting out there in street clothes, tags on, asking every person they meet, "Hey, what can I do to serve/help you?" –would that not be a wondrous sight to behold?

I am so glad the missionaries in the Philippines are safe, but I'm a little jealous, and somewhat sad that they were not permitted to regroup, reassess, and find a way to make God's presence known.  I pray that while they're in another area of the Philippines, they can get any emotional help they might need, as they'll likely experience nightmares from the horrors of what they've seen.  Yet in the aftermath of the storm, I'm really pondering the idea that in disasters like these, we are being tested as to our resolve and interest in being an instrument in God's hands.

Love and prayers for all those affected.

~Jen<3

Death of a Friend

Yesterday a longtime friend of the family underwent a double mastectomy.  For those unfamiliar with medical speak, that meant that the tissue held within the breasts are removed, the breast skin sealed up, and sometimes implants are later used to replace the tissue.  It is a very painful process.

Two days ago, when I heard the news about yesterday's surgery, I also happened to unpack a box of things that had been in storage for over a year and a half.  Stuffed in the box was a pink breast cancer awareness shirt I had received as a gift from a different friend, nearly three years ago when she got diagnosed with breast cancer.  She purchased a pink shirt with the classic pink ribbon, only this one had a heart drawn with the ribbon.  She had given one to me and several other friends in her tight circle of friends.  We watched and journeyed with her through her own double mastectomy, reconstructive surgery, and healing.  I remember sitting in the hospital room as she awoke from the anesthesia, and her bedroom from time to time through her healing.  Calling it painful and arduous would be an understatement.

Karol Truman writes that cancers of the female organs are indicative of many core issues.  Some big ones are "unresolved resentments", "holding onto deep anger, resentment, hate, revenge or jealousy", or "not open to 'light' or divine help" (Feelings Buried Alive Never Die, p.235).  In my Connective Tissue courses in massage school, we learned that the chest/heart area was responsible for issues of the "heart".  (duh- lol!)  In one instance, the instructor placed her left hand on my heart under the drape, and simply told me with her eyes to "let go".  It was as if something magical happened, because I could feel all sorts of pain rushing through, being released.  I had instant tears, and didn't even quite know why.  Too bad everyone can't go to massage school – that kind of bodywork is priceless.

Regardless of the conscious or subconscious cause of breast cancer, yesterday I had cause to reflect, being so greatly reminded of the old friend (via the shirt), and the cancer of both women, and where I have been in the two years since the death of the woman who gave me the shirt.  She's very much among the living, I presume, but the friendship is deceased.  In so many ways, her passing instigated the changes in me that have taken place ever since; they have been deep and will be longer lasting than the friendship was.  

The breast contains and protects the heart.  My heart was completely broken, smashed to smithereens, and then rebuilt by God himself.  There is no other way to explain it.  It had to happen, because I would not allow for change otherwise, and openly admitted such.  I refused to move away from the woman, would never reject her phone calls, and put our visits and gatherings above the needs of my children and family, and unless the friendship was demolished, I would have stayed and stewed in Utah Valley quite possibly for the rest of my life.  When I write so frequently in my posts here about idol worship, it hits so powerfully home to me, because I was the worst of the worshipers of this graven image of a goddess.

When the friendship was smashed with an iron rod, I was gently given a pillar to lean on.  I received a blessing from God through a friend, which warned me of the dissolving of the friendship, and the opening of my heart, the pain, the tears, and the healing and metamorphosis that would take place.  In the two years since the woman wrote me a long, horridly horrifying letter, I have "shifted" in ways formerly unimaginable, such that I doubt she would recognize me, were we to talk again.  And I have no desire for her to recognize me, because I no longer worship her.

I bear no ill will, and I was actually able to wear that shirt yesterday, with a prayer in my heart for both women struck by breast cancer.  Other times when I had seen the shirt in the box, I could hardly touch it, and preferred to leave it sit there until I had the gumption to throw it away, burn it, or donate it.  Somehow, I was able to put it on my body, and my heart felt nothing but gratitude.

Without her, I would not have been so openly introduced to so many people who taught me so many wonderful things.  I hate to give her too much credit, but I would not have been introduced to energy work.  I would likely have never met my close friend and mentor, who cared to teach me muscle testing, and the cascading effects that have come from that:  I would not be a massage therapist.  I would not be working with doTERRA as a business.  I would not be rubbing shoulders with people in my upline and downline who I truly love and cherish with my entire soul, because from them too I have learned so much.  I would not have a "downline", because there was no chance in hail that I would've grown a business with it had I stayed in Utah, and I left Utah to get away from any chance of ever seeing her or her "circle" again.  I would not have 10 awesome brother-sister-friends from massage school.  I would not have a massage business in my home.  I would not be working from home.  I would not have picked up various books that are now my go-to sources for spiritual education.  I am eternally indebted and thankful for the once friendship, and two year old death of a friendship, which has changed my life.

The leaves fall
The tree waits
For a new beginning
It held all along within 

Warm Weather

Dear Josten,

I just realized something wonderful that I want to share with you, before I forget.

This past week, in the middle of March, we were in Utah.  Your grandmother's funeral services were over, and we were packing up all of our household goods, which have been in storage for nearly 6 months now.  Typically March in Utah is a very cold month, and some of the greatest snowfall happened while we lived in Utah during this month over the past 5 years.  It is also one of my most dreaded months to be in Utah, as when it would get windy, it would shake our mobile home.  It petrified me to sleep in that kind of weather.

I find it interesting to note that during the funeral, it was actually quite warm - 63 degrees, if I remember correctly.  It seems to me that Grandma told me the weather was also just as warm during one of our last conversations, before we even knew that she had cancer.

It's also interesting that when we spent two days packing up our things, from storage, to yard sale, to moving van, that it was also quite warm.  We were able to do all these things without winter coats on, and at some points, with only a short sleeved shirt.  You even asked why I didn't let you bring any shorts along.

As I sat in our home in Pennsylvania, I realized as I chatted with your other grandma that it was snowing outside.  Yes, it is the middle of March.  Yes, it is typically very cold during this month.

It took a moment for it to sink in, but it finally did.  The warm weather was a very tender mercy of the Lord.

We held your grandmother's funeral and burial services in the warmth.
We loaded our moving van for two days in the warmth.

Can you imagine if we had tried doing any of these things in the snow?  Shivering at a graveside dedication?  Unpacking our storage shed to sort through what we wanted to keep versus what we wanted to sell, setting boxes and goods into mushy slush?  Selling many things to complete strangers, in the frigid cold?  Spending 12+ hours, packing up what we wanted to keep, with gloves, coats, hats and scarves?

(photo source)

No, indeed God was very kind, merciful, and thoughtful for us during a very intense time of need.  So very grateful.

God loves you Josten.  I have to wonder if one of heaven's newest angels helped arrange that blessing for us.  It certainly helped things go a lot, lot more smoothly.

<3, Mom:)

Primary 3, Lesson 5

Dear Daniel,

I'm a little disturbed today by a paragraph in my Primary Manual.  I'll share the last paragraph with you.

"Be sure to emphasize that Heavenly Father and Jesus usually answer prayers by giving us a peaceful feeling, which the children will learn more about in another lesson.  The children should not expect Heavenly Father and Jesus to appear to them to answer their prayers."  

Daniel, I find this very, very disturbing.  This book was published/copyrighted in 1994 by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  I sustain my leaders; I teach from the manual put out by the Church.  However, this teaching is no different than any other church, which tells us that these things no longer happen.  They can, they should, and they do.  This is the kind of teaching that God told Joseph was "corrupt".

"I was answered that I must join none of them, for they were all wrong; and the Personage who addressed me said that all their creeds were an abomination in his sight; that those professors were all corrupt; that: “they draw near to me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me, they teach for doctrines the commandments of men, having a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof.”

Does God want us to draw until Him with our hearts?  Or only our lips?  What is the difference between the two?  How do we draw near to God with our lips, and not our hearts too?

And does telling a 5 year old that they should not expect Heavenly Father and Jesus to appear to them "deny the power thereof"?  I'm not saying that's the case, but I am certainly pondering it.

I understand the point of the lesson, and the idea that we shouldn't feel sad and depressed if we haven't experienced such things, yet.  But the scriptures are FULL of people experiencing these things, and partly why they're included is to show us that these things do happen!  I find this last line very, very disturbing.  God wants us to seek such things, which is why I believe so many things in the scriptures are veiled from our view.  It reminds me of when we encouraged you to walk.  We stood a little ways away, and waited for you to step into our arms.  We stepped back so you could step forward in faith.

God is an unchanging God.  He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  How many times is that line repeated throughout scripture?  So just as James' admonition spoke to Joseph about God upbraiding (scolding) not for us asking, He does not scold us for asking with sincerity either.  He wants us to, He expects us to, and when we choose not to, it is it OUR condemnation.  Just because He has not appeared to us, or to common, everyday man, does not mean that He won't, can't, or that we shouldn't hope that He will.

Don't forget to ask, little one.  Maybe someday, He will appear to you.

~Mom<3  

The Power of "Hurricane Sandy" < GOD

For the past four days, our family has been bracing for what those around us were jokingly referring to as "Frankenstorm".  Hurricane Sandy, which just came up the eastern seaboard, was expected to come inland and run into a large cold front of air, and both were expected to meet in the central Pennsylvania area.  It was almost comedic, how smack dab in the center of where we were this storm was expected to hit.  Many said it was a storm of epic proportions - above and beyond anything we have ever witnessed here.  

With all that said, we had been preparing for days.  Friday in class, our administrator came in to make sure we were all put on the emergency text or email listings, to be warned if school closed.  Saturday we spent nearly the whole day, lifting nearly everything off the floor in our basement, taking it up to the attic to be stored, in case our septic tank overflowed, or in case water began leaking through the walls, as it had last year when an unexpected hurricane brought days of rain here.  We had things prepared such that we could move all heavy furniture off the carpet so that we could roll up the carpet in a moment's notice.  Last year, half of the basement had to be gutted, walls reinforced or replaced, carpets torn up because there was so much water damage they could not be reasonably salvaged.  It was a nightmare for my parents, who had to move their bedroom completely to another room in the house.  (This might not sound like a big deal, but for two 60-somethings who work full time, it was a major task.)  Needless to say, we must have all looks like rummaging ants from an aerial view.  

Sunday came, and we went to Church, thinking we were well prepared.  At the start of our third hour (Relief Society meeting), the Relief Society President and then the Emergency Preparedness Coordinator led us in a solid 20+ minutes of "make sure you have/do this..."  It wasn't fear mongering  but it was a solid reality check.  We still weren't fully prepared.

Upon returning from Church, we turned on the tv, to hear weather forecasters go on an on about the projected path for this storm.  The worst of it was headed straight for us.  Take down the trampoline, tip over the basketball hoop, move the swing to a secure place.  Pull in all the toys/bikes, park the cars away from tall trees.  Readyyyy, go! 

Sunday evening, we got a robo-call from my kids' school: cancelled for the next two days.  Later on that evening I got a text from my school; it too was cancelled.  

When our kids went to bed, my oldest was by now freaked out by all the hype.  He was asking me about what was going on.  He wanted to sleep with a flashlight, and even better, wanted to sleep in my room.  He wanted to know again and again what the weather was doing - what a cold front was, what a hurricane was, and what was going to happen when they'd collide.  

Among my answers were nice descriptions of what the weatherman had shared.  Also explanations of why we took down the trampoline (this is what mattered to him!), and how sleeping in the lower portion of the house is safer in inclement weather.  I expressed how we would be safe, even if the basement had water leaks or flooding.  But lastly, I said God was in control.  

(Here's one of the creeks near our home, Monday 10/29/12 about 1:35 pm, before the bulk of the storm was expected to hit.  It was already about 2' higher than normal, and about 2' higher than normal.)

Above all, this is what mattered.  It was neat to see how my personal scripture study prepared me for each day along the path.  Last week I read Alma 38:5:

And now my son, Shiblon, I would that ye should remember, that as much as ye shall put your trust in God even so much ye shall be delivered out of your trials, and your troubles, and your afflictions, and ye shall be lifted up at the last day.

Despite all my earthly preparations, I knew in the end that it was God who controls the elements.  I could build the strongest house ever, but it would only take a millisecond and a zap or God's finger to destroy it, if He wanted.

Today, the day we were supposed to have a lot of residual rain, we have a sprinkling.  We had a few strong wind gusts yesterday, but when we did, I prayed for our home, our things outside, and even the trees around us and our neighborhood and our hillside to be protected.  I don't hear chainsaws, cutting up downed trees.  I only see leaves on the ground.  It is relatively peaceful and calm, and the major networks are back to their regular programming.

When I sat down to open my scriptures this morning, I asked in my mind/heart where I should read today.  Helaman 12 came to mind.  Forgive me, but I'm going to paste in the whole thing, because for some reason, I feel inclined to not cut it short.  It's all ridiculously applicable.  I'll add my comments in another color, plus add some underlining for emphasis.

1 And thus we can behold how false, and also the unsteadiness of the hearts of the children of men; yea, we can see that the Lord in his great infinite goodness doth bless and ^aprosper those who put their ^btrust in him.

 2 Yea, and we may see at the very ^atime when he doth ^bprosper his people, yea, in the increase of their fields, their flocks and their herds, and in gold, and in silver, and in all manner of ^cprecious things of every kind and art; sparing their lives, and delivering them out of the hands of their enemies; softening the hearts of their enemies that they should not declare wars against them; yea, and in fine, doing all things for the welfare and happiness of his people; yea, then is the time that they do ^dharden their hearts, and do ^eforget the Lord their God, and do ^ftrample under their feet the Holy One—yea, and this because of their ease, and their exceedingly great prosperity.

 3 And thus we see that except the Lord doth ^achasten his people with many afflictions, yea, except he doth visit them with ^bdeath and with terror, and with famine and with all manner of pestilence, they will not ^cremember him.

 4 O how ^afoolish, and how vain, and how evil, and devilish, and how ^bquick to do iniquity, and how slow to do good, are the children of men; yea, how quick to hearken unto the words of the evil one, and to set their ^chearts upon the vain things of the world!

 5 Yea, how quick to be lifted up in ^apride; yea, how quick to^bboast, and do all manner of that which is iniquity; and how slow are they to remember the Lord their God, and to give ear unto his counsels, yea, how slow to ^cwalk in wisdom’s paths!

 6 Behold, they do not desire that the Lord their God, who hath ^acreated them, should ^brule and reign over them; notwithstanding his great goodness and his mercy towards them, they do set at ^cnaught his counsels, and they will not that he should be their guide.

 7 O how great is the ^anothingness of the children of men; yea, even they are ^bless than the dust of the earth.  (There was nothing I could certainly to do stop the monster storm from crossing our path.)

 8 For behold, the dust of the earth moveth hither and thither, to the dividing asunder, at the command of our great and everlasting God.  (It certainly does!)

 9 Yea, behold at his ^avoice do the hills and the mountains tremble and ^bquake.

 10 And by the ^apower of his voice they are broken up, and become smooth, yea, even like unto a valley.

 11 Yea, by the power of his voice doth the ^awhole earth shake;

 12 Yea, by the power of his voice, do the foundations rock, even to the very center.

 13 Yea, and if he say unto the earth—Move—it is moved.

 14 Yea, if he say unto the ^aearth—Thou shalt ^bgo back, that it^clengthen out the day for many hours—it is done;

 15 And thus, according to his word the ^aearth goeth back, and it appeareth unto man that the ^bsun standeth still; yea, and behold, this is so; for surely it is the earth that moveth and not the sun.

 16 And behold, also, if he say unto the ^awaters of the great deep—^bBe thou dried up—it is done.  (And if He wants to say unto the waters of the great deep to swirl and form a 900 mile wide hurricane to threaten the people of this land to remember Him, He can do it, and it is done.  Have we trusted in Him or ourselves to defend against this storm, in the end?)

 17 Behold, if he say unto this mountain—Be thou raised up, and ^acome over and fall upon that city, that it be buried up—behold it is done.

 18 And behold, if a man ^ahide up a treasure in the earth, and the Lord shall say—Let it be ^baccursed, because of the iniquity of him who hath hid it up—behold, it shall be accursed.

 19 And if the Lord shall say—Be thou accursed, that no man shall find thee from this time henceforth and forever—behold, no man getteth it henceforth and forever.

 20 And behold, if the Lord shall say unto a man—Because of thine iniquities, thou shalt be accursed ^aforever—it shall be done.

 21 And if the Lord shall say—Because of thine iniquities thou shalt be ^acut off from my presence—he will cause that it shall be so.

 22 And wo unto him to whom he shall say this, for it shall be unto him that will do iniquity, and he cannot be ^asaved; therefore, for this cause, that men might be saved, hath repentance been declared.

 23 Therefore, blessed are they who will repent and hearken unto the voice of the Lord their God; for these are they that shall be saved.

 24 And may God grant, in his great fulness, that men might be brought unto repentance and good works, that they might be restored unto grace for ^agrace, according to their works.

 25 And I would that all men might be saved. But we read that in the ^agreat and last day there are some who shall be cast out, yea, who shall be cast off from the ^bpresence of the Lord;

 26 Yea, who shall be consigned to a state of endless misery, fulfilling the words which say: They that have done good shall have^aeverlasting life; and they that have done evil shall have everlasting ^bdamnation. And thus it is. Amen.

Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and I'm not saying that because this storm hit elsewhere in its massiveness that God is smiting those people.  That is for Him to say and them to realize.  But for me, I know the lightening of the intensity of this storm's impact is a blessing to me.  Both I and my kids have two days off school.  It feels like Christmas break.  We are enjoying one another, resting, and thankful that nothing was damaged.  It was as if white light surrounded and protected our home, trees, and neighborhood.  I thank and praise God.  I know we are in His hands.