For Your Money You Shall be Baptized, Mormon 8:32

Sometimes I wonder if we really know which way is up anymore.

Mormon 8:32:

Yea, it shall come in a day when there shall be churches built up that shall say: Come unto me, and for your money you shall be forgiven of your sins.

The concept of using money to forgive sins used to be a really preposterous idea.  I used to think this verse was referring to the Catholic Church's practice of indulgences.  If you pay the church, you can receive "forgiveness" of your sins.  I would have never stopped to consider that there may be other instances of this since then, or in the future.  My disappointment appears when I discover that this is a practice now among Mormons.

"What???" you say?  "How can this be?  Jen's taking crazy pills again!"

In my church, we believe that remission of sins comes at baptism.  Below are two of many citations from missionary blogs, where as of last September, they are reporting that in order to be baptized, one must oblige several new key points.  Prospective members were required to attend church for three hours, three times, and pay a fast offering or tithing.

I completely understand the rationale being used by the mission presidents, however it is another literal fulfillment of what Mormon saw.  Juxtaposing the idea alongside the picture above is kind of repulsive, but even in sharing the situation with a family member, it was almost easy to dismiss.  Here are two accounts:

"WEDNESDAY, we taught Jean Franko about fasting because there is a new rule just for this ward, that the investigators need to fast and pay a fast offering in order to be baptized. interesting. it went really well and he said that he would do it. i feel like he has a need, but we just cant find it. he sort of avoids the topic of baptism, but with faith and patience i think we will get there!" - from a missionary's blog.

"They put in a couple of new rules for baptizing in this area. The investigators have to attend church three times, and they have to go to church all three hours three times before getting baptized. Also, they have to pay some sort of offering or donation before they can get baptized. It will make things a bit trickier but I can definitely see the wisdom in these rules, making sure that the converts remain active and faithful members of the church. We'll see what type of good results it brings!" - from another missionary's blog.

While this may be old news for some, as it was being reported last September, it has come up as an important issue in my mind.  I typed up these instances a few days ago, and hesitated to be discussing something that may be considered Mormon bashing.  A dear relative asked recently if I was leaving the church.  I hope anyone reading knows how much I love the church, and how much it pains and stresses my heart to see this happening.  I have spent 36 years of my life dedicated to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Literally, dedicated it.  What I have discovered through this dedication, is that we are so deserving of the prophetic warnings described in the Book of Mormon, and we are SO oblivious as to the stains on our garments.  They are blood red.

While on a Facebook hiatus, I decided to skim over the news feed after today's gay marriage ruling by the SCOTUS.  It's interesting to me, to see how much we stress and worry about being destroyed like Sodom and Gomorrah (or about loving unabashedly), yet we are so unwilling to consider all the other prophetic warnings of potential destruction (or completely disregard them).  Is what folks do with their genitals (or our ignoring of it) the only measuring stick we use to determine our worthiness before God?  Or can there be other more heinous sins, which are more offensive to God?

While reading the many discussions among LDS and non LDS, I will say I am just as completely undecided about gay marriage as I was decided against it a few years ago.  I have no idea how God will sort this out, or if he really even cares.  But what I do know is that if I believe the Book of Mormon and Bible, I have to begin considering that there are so many instances in which I can sin, and it's time for me to stop being distracted with other people's sins.  I am worrying about my own, at least for the time being.  Please know I am not at odds with the LDS Church, but that I am deeply concerned regarding the prophetic forecasts which are coming true before my very eyes.

For more missionary blogs, referencing this fulfillment of Mormon's prophesy, see here.

The Current Great Depression

Dear Magdalene,

I've been meaning to write you some things for some time, but haven't really known where to start.  I hesitate broadcasting what I'm about to write online, but something keeps nagging at me to do it.  I hope that's ok.

This post might not be very inspiring, but I also feel the need to write it for a place to compare your future from.  While we don't exactly know how things will be in the future, being able to look to the present, which will soon be the past, is often nice as a reference point.  I hope what lies ahead is better, yet I'm trying to be grateful for what we have today.

About two weeks ago we all went to the local school carnival.  You and your little brothers wanted to play games, which all required tickets.  Most of all, you wanted to go through the bouncy house thing, which cost $2 a run through.  Each run through would take about 30 seconds.  While that might be pocket change for some people, paying $6 for three of my kids to have 30 seconds of fun just seemed wasteful.  It's a miracle you didn't meltdown in screaming that you couldn't go through.  I'm guessing it's because your friends were around.  Despite my stinginess, something inside me broke at not being willing to pay that for your limited enjoyment.  I had $5 to spend for the day.

I'd like to tell you what kind of work it takes for our family to earn $6.00.  Many people might laugh at this, but some will understand completely.  To make $6, Daddy has to throw boxes at work for about 35 minutes.  That's a lot of money, and a great paying job, if it were in a country like Thailand or India.  For us, it doesn't make ends meet.  But it's the best we've been able to find so far.  And Daddy drives 45 minutes to get there.  I know you don't realize why he's never here when you are, but let me explain Dad's schedule.  He's up most days at 5:30.  He works in town from 6am to 2pm.  He comes home, catches a power nap, and leaves between 3 and 4pm to drive 45 minutes so he can throw boxes for the next 5-6 hours.  He gets home about 10 to 11pm, showers (because he's filthy and often all scratched up from all the boxes).  He crashes in bed about 11:30pm, and the next day he starts all over.  He even gets to work Sundays.  They generously let him off for Church, but he surmised they wouldn't hire him unless he was willing to work when they wanted him to.  And we needed the income, so he agreed.

Two months ago we had a chance to get ahead.  Because our income is so low, we got some "Obama money" as many call it.  A fat old tax refund of about $8000.  That would take your dad at least 6 months of income to bring in, before expenses and what not.  It felt like the windows of heaven were opened.  I cried, because it felt like such a generous gift.  We figured out how we could spend it wisely, and even pondered how we could invest a small sum into a potential business, while paying down our debt significantly.

Within a week of receiving that check, your grandma passed away.  Daddy flew to Utah to try to see her before she passed.  The money was a Godsend, and made it possible for you and me and your brothers to join him for the funeral, which proved a wise investment.  Daddy needed our support.  However, airfare wasn't cheap, and because we left all our things in Utah when we left last summer, we realized it was the only time we could pack it up to bring it home.  So another $2000+ went toward moving our things to join us in PA.  We had a small buffer left from Obama's "stash" – (I say that facetiously.  Many of our friends would scorn the fact that we even got it.  It's at the expense of their taxes.  It certainly does not come from Obama's pocket or book sales.) – so we listed our home that Grandma was living in for sale, and hoped it would sell quick.  It's been two months, and it's still on the market.  We even offered to finance people.

All this said, we're trying, honey.  I wish I could blow $2 for you to laugh for 30 seconds.  I wish I could buy you anything you'd ever want, but the truth is, I don't even know how to pay the bills – and there are many.  To add insult to injury, we are now responsible for our share of Grandma's funeral costs.  $2500 bill started yesterday in $25 increments.  We'll be lucky if we can pay it in the next 5 years.  I don't even know the interest rate, but I wasn't given an option in the first place about anything pertaining to it, so I just leave it up to Daddy to worry about.

I don't know how to make things better.  My hope is that I can get my own starter business off the ground soon enough.  It's slow going, and the massage element will likely destroy my body over the next few years if I'm not careful.  The reason I'm sharing this is, I want you to know we are trying our best.  We are working our asses off, quite literally.  We're already living with your other grandparents, and I'm not sure what else to do to cut costs.  Daddy's already working two jobs, and despite being highly qualified, the good paying jobs are just slim, and those hiring can be especially picky, as the hiring pool is large.  College was a waste, but we believed what everyone told us.  Don't believe everything everyone tells you.  I'm finding that most of the time, they're all wrong.  But there are a few inspired people out there, who will help keep you straight.

There is a spiritual element in this.  I don't glory in being broke, and believe being "poor" is a state of mind.  However it's so easy to see how being broke can lead to being poor.  That said, Jesus warned us about wealth.  It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.  That verse resonated so many times, as I see countless people driving in surely hard earned shiny new cars, enjoying travel, fun, food, and all the luxuries that come with wealth, while I trust that my meager investments in oils and massage tools will someday get us there.  But why?  Why do I seek after that, if Christ says it is harder to get to heaven that way?  And why does he say that?  What is it about wealth that makes it hard?

I would guess it's the blind eye toward the poor, and the priority of bigger and greater over helping those who cannot cover the basics.  The whole of America is guilty of this, even among many like us who are without much income.  In our "broke" state never have to worry that we'll have food in our cupboards.  No, we have a stash of dead food to last us at least 18 months.

I hope that in writing this, you and I both have a point of reference to look back on, and smile at how far we've come.  We all hope that things get better, but the truth is we're in an economic depression.  The news media will never call it that, because their guy is in office, but it is what it is.  Our great-grandparents experienced this, and now we get to.  I wish we could have their words to read, to see how they got by, or how they made dandelion soup, but they were too busy working their butts off just to make ends meet.  Maybe that's why we only have the records of the rich.  We sure don't have many journals from farm laborers, coal miners, and the steel workers that are in our family tree, but it's the bankers and politicians who show up in the biographical annals.  Maybe that's why the generic name of the father of your illegitimate great-great-great-grandfather is only listed on the birth certificate, because he could afford to keep his fatherhood off the other published records for us to find – although it is likely he was one of the most prominent men in the state.  Today, I think it's sad what we value.  I hope in all this, you and I learn something more than the value of money.  And I hope I can teach you how not to melt down when you don't get what you want.  Laughs are much more enjoyable than tears, especially when I'm the one who gets to do most of the listening.

All is Well

For the last week or so I've been working on a book called Nephi's Isaiah, by Denver Snuffer.  I hope no one gets tired of hearing me source his writings.  I've found them to be quite impressionable in my mind, and have been quite prayerful in determining if I believe some of his interpretations of scripture.  Much of what he writes I feel very enlightened by.

One thing I read today really has me pondering. 

He writes about "Zion".  Latter-day Saints have scripture that defines Zion as the "pure in heart".  The author describes how we are nowhere close to achieving Zion, and we have much to repent of.  Much too much greed, selfishness, hard-heartedness, pride, etc.  This I can agree with.

He then discusses how there are no poor in Zion, and that we have not yet taken care of our poor.  He also quotes Nephi in saying that there are those that remain in their poor states because they lack learning.  I tried to believe this one, but thus far, I have a hard time understanding if this is to be taken on a local (Utah), national (US), or international scale. 

I could consider myself and our family poor.  We live in a mobile home in an area that many would call the "ghetto" of our town.  We have more student loan debt than I am happy with, and credit card debt to match the student loans.  Thus far, job prospects in this miserable economy are very, very scarce, and these bills exceed our current standard of living.

That said, I feel very wealthy.  Despite our debt, we have ALL of our needs met.  Gas for the cars (thank you, Mastercard), the most comfortable beds one could imagine (thank you SleepNumber), food in our fridge (thank you coupons), and for living in the "ghetto", I feel safe walking the street at night (Praise God for all!:).  We have electricity to light every room, clean, drinkable running water, and health care available to anyone.  (Granted, I have no health insurance, but that doesn't mean I can't get care if I need it, with multiple hospitals within a 10 minute drive.)  We have access to free libraries where I can read just about any book I want, on any topic I can conceive of.  And if I really needed help, there are a myriad of places I could count on to get help, should I be in desperate circumstances.  I can say, write, and think what I want, without fear of persecution or imprisonment.  I am so blessed, and so is every soul who lives in this land of freedom, even if they truly do live in a real ghetto.

When contemplating my rich and poor estate, I wonder, "Have I lacked because of my poverty?  Has our family not had the opportunity for a good education because of our lack of money?"  I think this is all relative.  I honestly can't grasp what Snuffer is talking about, unless he's talking on the global scale here.  Perhaps it is because I live in relative security, and have never truly been out on the streets.  Is this what he's talking about - that Nephi is warning us to help the homeless and hungry more?  Do we not have places that take care of these matters readily?  Or is he saying that we should be more individually invested in doing this care-taking for those around us? 

When it comes to education, I know there are millions of people who would LOVE to have the so-called "crappy" education people whine about being so abysmal in the US.  Perhaps in Chile or Ghana they don't have access to Visa or Mastercard to cover their school expenses not covered by Government sponsored student loans.  (My friend Jessie told me US student loan debt has now topped $1 trillion.  All for "education".)  

I went to political caucuses here in Utah a few weeks ago, and heard people whining about so many things.  Things they felt entitled to, like a "better" education, ensuring their "social security", and "medicare" and "medicaid".  It disgusted me, that in a room full of 90% Mormons, at least half of the room was more concerned about not losing their benefits than the effect their government dependence would have on the upcoming generation.  I really don't get Snuffer's suggestion here.  Perhaps he thinks that we, as Latter-day Saints, should be sponsoring one another in these endeavors.  Should I expect him, Brother Snuffer, a successful attorney, to aid me in paying off my education?  Is this what he was referring to?  {Maybe he was!  If that's the case, I welcome anyone with a load of money to feel free to contribute to our cost of education. :)}

Despite my lack of understanding, I have felt compelled lately to be more involved, globally.  Our world is so much smaller than it ever has been, in the sense that we can talk to someone around the world on the phone if we like.  Airplanes cross the globe daily, so sending assistance to those truly poor is just a matter of having enough postage to get the help there.  I don't feel like many here in the United States have a clue.  Many US Constitution lovers say the Constitution tells us to mind our own business, globally.  I submit that had the technology existed to assist those in other countries when the Constitution was constructed, the Founding Fathers certainly would not have prohibited us from assisting others because they're beyond our borders.  Is this what Nephi's talking about?  Would he be concerned that we stay within our man-made boundaries?

There was a man holding a sign asking for money here in Orem several months ago.  I got out of my car and offered him some of my groceries in the trunk.  He turned me down.  Was it that he wasn't hungry, but just wanted money?  I shake my head in confusion. 

Back to the start.  Brother Snuffer, since we can't comment on your blog, I'd surely like to know, if LDSs are not doing nearly enough to help those around them, what more do you suggest?  Is it that it isn't sufficient to donate monies to the tithe and offering funds?  Do we need to be more personally involved?  Or am I just completely and utterly spoiled, even in my lower class level of US living?  That's probably the case. 

And as far as education, my opinion is that anyone–at least in the United States–who puts forth enough work and is inquisitive enough has the world of opportunity available to them.  If not in your state, walk to another one.  Hitchhike, whatever.  At least here in America, you have the freedom to do so.  I thank my Father in Heaven for that freedom.  Many beyond our borders are not so fortunate.