The Less I Know

Have you ever felt like by learning more, you find out you know less?

A long time in my life I presumed everything was as I thought it was.  People testify and know all the answers, and I generally trusted everyone, that their intentions were good, and I could put my money where their mouth was.  I could trust people to be worth trusting with my heart, mind and soul.  Often lately, this has proven to me my naivete, and I try to prevent myself from becoming jaded.  All the jaded people I've ever met seemed desperately sad and hopeless.  And cruel on top of it.

Tonight I read some information that makes me feel a little more jaded.  A little less trusting, and a little more frustrated.  I found that the more I learned, the more I found out I didn't know anything.  I was wrong.

I really have appreciated reading the works of Denver Snuffer.  I don't know if he's right on half of what he writes, but I appreciate his effort, as well as his effort at humility.  It has taught me much, including that sometimes being humbled is the only way to learn.  The LORD wants no part of pride.  He prefers us humble.  Being humbled is probably the fastest, and often the most enduring way to learn.  Today I read this post of Snuffer's.  His observation of Joseph Smith's thoughts on friends has become a litmus test for me.  I wonder if Joseph felt humbled at learning some of these same lessons.  I am very grateful for both of these men, and hope to keep learning from them.  Joseph was a great prophet, and I appreciate Snuffer's insights on him.

That said...

The more I learn, the more I find I know less than I ever thought.

All is Well

For the last week or so I've been working on a book called Nephi's Isaiah, by Denver Snuffer.  I hope no one gets tired of hearing me source his writings.  I've found them to be quite impressionable in my mind, and have been quite prayerful in determining if I believe some of his interpretations of scripture.  Much of what he writes I feel very enlightened by.

One thing I read today really has me pondering. 

He writes about "Zion".  Latter-day Saints have scripture that defines Zion as the "pure in heart".  The author describes how we are nowhere close to achieving Zion, and we have much to repent of.  Much too much greed, selfishness, hard-heartedness, pride, etc.  This I can agree with.

He then discusses how there are no poor in Zion, and that we have not yet taken care of our poor.  He also quotes Nephi in saying that there are those that remain in their poor states because they lack learning.  I tried to believe this one, but thus far, I have a hard time understanding if this is to be taken on a local (Utah), national (US), or international scale. 

I could consider myself and our family poor.  We live in a mobile home in an area that many would call the "ghetto" of our town.  We have more student loan debt than I am happy with, and credit card debt to match the student loans.  Thus far, job prospects in this miserable economy are very, very scarce, and these bills exceed our current standard of living.

That said, I feel very wealthy.  Despite our debt, we have ALL of our needs met.  Gas for the cars (thank you, Mastercard), the most comfortable beds one could imagine (thank you SleepNumber), food in our fridge (thank you coupons), and for living in the "ghetto", I feel safe walking the street at night (Praise God for all!:).  We have electricity to light every room, clean, drinkable running water, and health care available to anyone.  (Granted, I have no health insurance, but that doesn't mean I can't get care if I need it, with multiple hospitals within a 10 minute drive.)  We have access to free libraries where I can read just about any book I want, on any topic I can conceive of.  And if I really needed help, there are a myriad of places I could count on to get help, should I be in desperate circumstances.  I can say, write, and think what I want, without fear of persecution or imprisonment.  I am so blessed, and so is every soul who lives in this land of freedom, even if they truly do live in a real ghetto.

When contemplating my rich and poor estate, I wonder, "Have I lacked because of my poverty?  Has our family not had the opportunity for a good education because of our lack of money?"  I think this is all relative.  I honestly can't grasp what Snuffer is talking about, unless he's talking on the global scale here.  Perhaps it is because I live in relative security, and have never truly been out on the streets.  Is this what he's talking about - that Nephi is warning us to help the homeless and hungry more?  Do we not have places that take care of these matters readily?  Or is he saying that we should be more individually invested in doing this care-taking for those around us? 

When it comes to education, I know there are millions of people who would LOVE to have the so-called "crappy" education people whine about being so abysmal in the US.  Perhaps in Chile or Ghana they don't have access to Visa or Mastercard to cover their school expenses not covered by Government sponsored student loans.  (My friend Jessie told me US student loan debt has now topped $1 trillion.  All for "education".)  

I went to political caucuses here in Utah a few weeks ago, and heard people whining about so many things.  Things they felt entitled to, like a "better" education, ensuring their "social security", and "medicare" and "medicaid".  It disgusted me, that in a room full of 90% Mormons, at least half of the room was more concerned about not losing their benefits than the effect their government dependence would have on the upcoming generation.  I really don't get Snuffer's suggestion here.  Perhaps he thinks that we, as Latter-day Saints, should be sponsoring one another in these endeavors.  Should I expect him, Brother Snuffer, a successful attorney, to aid me in paying off my education?  Is this what he was referring to?  {Maybe he was!  If that's the case, I welcome anyone with a load of money to feel free to contribute to our cost of education. :)}

Despite my lack of understanding, I have felt compelled lately to be more involved, globally.  Our world is so much smaller than it ever has been, in the sense that we can talk to someone around the world on the phone if we like.  Airplanes cross the globe daily, so sending assistance to those truly poor is just a matter of having enough postage to get the help there.  I don't feel like many here in the United States have a clue.  Many US Constitution lovers say the Constitution tells us to mind our own business, globally.  I submit that had the technology existed to assist those in other countries when the Constitution was constructed, the Founding Fathers certainly would not have prohibited us from assisting others because they're beyond our borders.  Is this what Nephi's talking about?  Would he be concerned that we stay within our man-made boundaries?

There was a man holding a sign asking for money here in Orem several months ago.  I got out of my car and offered him some of my groceries in the trunk.  He turned me down.  Was it that he wasn't hungry, but just wanted money?  I shake my head in confusion. 

Back to the start.  Brother Snuffer, since we can't comment on your blog, I'd surely like to know, if LDSs are not doing nearly enough to help those around them, what more do you suggest?  Is it that it isn't sufficient to donate monies to the tithe and offering funds?  Do we need to be more personally involved?  Or am I just completely and utterly spoiled, even in my lower class level of US living?  That's probably the case. 

And as far as education, my opinion is that anyone–at least in the United States–who puts forth enough work and is inquisitive enough has the world of opportunity available to them.  If not in your state, walk to another one.  Hitchhike, whatever.  At least here in America, you have the freedom to do so.  I thank my Father in Heaven for that freedom.  Many beyond our borders are not so fortunate.

Zacharias and the Atonement

After finishing the BoM last week, I've had a hard time getting back started in my studying.  I had lots of ideas on where to pick up with, but for a few days, I've been kind of stagnant.

On Sunday, I wrote over at JenHeadJen about a miracle in my family's life.  Today, I saw another miracle happen.  I was somewhat pondering the idea of asking for "signs".  In Denver Snuffer's "The Second Comforter", he talks about how signs work, in a general sense.  We are warned not to ask for signs, as "a wicked and an adulterous generation seeketh a sign" (Matt. 16:4), but Snuffer points out that once we have sufficient faith and believe, we can ask for signs.  He devotes some time in The Second Comforter to this concept, however, in reading one of his other books (Eighteen Verses), he points out that we should take care when asking for signs, as they may prove to bring a challenge to the seeker.  This was the case, he shows, with Zacharias asking the angel for a sign that his elderly wife will yet bear a son.

Having just read the account in Luke 1, however, I think perhaps there is perhaps more to explore in Zacharias' faith than even what Snuffer warns, regarding signs to the faithful.  It seems as though Zacharias, in speaking with an angel, still doesn't believe the details this message from a holy messenger.

  "And Zacharias said unto the angel, Whereby shall I ^aknow this? for I am an ^bold man, and my wife well ^cstricken in years."  (Luke 1:18) 

So basically, Zacharias says, "Prove it."  This, he says, moments after the angel said to him, 

"...^aFear not, Zacharias: for thy prayer is heard; and thy wife Elisabeth shall bear thee a ^bson, and thou shalt call his name John.
And thou shalt have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth."  (Luke 1:13-14)

Now I'm not going to criticize Zacharias, because I'm no scholar of scriptures, and by no means one to judge.  But I appreciate the opportunity to learn from his experience, to apply to my own "belief".  My interpretation is that for whatever reason, he didn't yet believe.  He had an angel, a messenger of God, telling him to "fear not", "thy prayer is heard", and now you're about to experience a miracle... quite similar to what the patriarch Abraham experienced.  His elderly wife – past menopause, basically – is going to conceive.  I am going to assume that the angel would have understood if Zacharias was just sheerly amazed, and saying, "Seriously?  Really?  Me, a lowly servant, beyond childbearing years, am finally going to have a son?"  

I trust God and His angels are reasonable beings, and it is easy to assume and know that they would have understood amazement at their sheer glory and power.  Even amazement at the thought of such a miracle.  But Zacharias was in the temple.  The holy temple.  There was no need for doubt as to whether or not this angel was of God, and there should have been little room for doubt as to the authenticity of the message.  It seems apparent that Zacharias just did not believe.  How do I know you're not just pulling my leg, Mr. Angel?  Prove it.

And then he left the temple, not being able to speak for many, many months.  Stuck dumb until John would be born.

At the end of Eighteen Verses, there is a talk that was given in Utah, and Snuffer included the full talk as an appendage to the book, although its content is not entirely applicable to the rest of the book.  In the talk, Snuffer expounds on the holy rooms of the temple, and what transpired in them, and how they were a preparatory testament to what would happen with the Savior as he lived out the Atonement.  Oddly enough, not even a week after finishing that book, I picked up Annalee Skarin's Ye are Gods, and picked up where I left off.  And where I picked up at, she began a discussion on the holy rooms of the temple, and what was done there, just as Snuffer did.  Both authors talked about Zacharias, and I thought how interesting, that while I never know each day where my studies will take me, here, a week before we celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ, I am able to be led to study two discussions of the activities done within the temple, Zacharias' qualifications to participate in this holiest of spaces, and how the temple ceremonies of old typified the Atonement of Christ.  

Not only learning this things was cool, but seeing how to apply them to my own life was eye opening.  I'm grateful, not only for the knowledge, but the way the Spirit led me to each account, particularly during the days before we remember these very important events.  

Pretty cool.