A Warning of Secret Combinations

Have you ever wanted to get closer to God?  Have you ever found someone who says they have found God, and if you listen to them, or mentor with them, or pay them money, you can become more enlightened?

Have you ever found friends who spoke quietly about God, and told you that the things they have shared really need to be kept secret?  For privacy's sake, because it was so holy?  But because you are so special, so trusted, that they can share their secret with you in confidence?  

Have you ever found a group of friends, who spoke privately about God, and joined up together to talk privately about God, to the exclusion of inviting others?  

Have you ever made an agreement with a group of friends, such as a head nod in understanding, or a verbal, "No, I won't tell," or even an "No, I promise I won't tell," that you would not disclose the private information to anyone outside of the circle?  Not just because it was private and personal, but because it was "sacred"?  Maybe you wouldn't want to hurt anyone's feelings for not inviting them, or you wouldn't want their company in the first place?  

Ether 4:11-14:

But he that believeth these things which I have spoken, him will I visit with the manifestations of my Spirit, and he shall know and bear record.  For because of my Spirit he shall know that these things are true; for it persuadeth men to do good.

And whatsoever thing persuadeth men to do good is of me; for good cometh of none save it be of me.  I am the same that leadeth men to all good; he that will not believe my words will not believe me – that I am; and he that will not believe me will not believe the Father who sent me.  For behold, I am the Father, I am the light, and the life, and the truth of the world.  

Come unto me, O ye Gentiles, and I will show unto you the greater things, the knowledge which is hid up because of unbelief.  

Come unto me, O ye house of Israel, and it shall be made manifest unto you how great things the Father hath laid up for you, from the foundation of the world; and it hath not come unto you, because of unbelief. 

Christ lays the invitation to us to come directly to Him.  No intermediary.  No mentor, paid guru, or enlightened master.  The invitation is free, unrestrained or unrestricted.  He asks us to lay aside our unbelief, and HE will show us line upon line, until we find Him.  HE will be our teacher, that we may learn the knowledge which has been hidden because of unbelief.

Perhaps He will give us help along the way by means of people.  But they will not need share information in secret, nor exclusively at the exclusion of others.

One reason I am outside the bounds of being a "worthy recommend holder" is that I will not ascribe to an oath-like indication for sustaining the leaders of the Church.  Oaths made to any man are suspect, and potentially dangerous.  It is fascinating how easy it is to build and participate in a secret combination.  I have seen them among the Mormons.  I have seen them among my friends, among sisters I visit taught, and among sisters that visit teach me.  I have been a part of some unknowingly, and being kicked out and excluded was ugly.  I see those I care about being invited in to some, and observe their sudden quietness, secrecy, and inability to discuss anything going on in their lives.

When Moses went up to the mount to talk with the Lord, he invited others to come too.  He did not exclude them.

Christ's invitation is OPEN.  It is not CLOSED.  It is not private.  It does not need time to ponder over one's worthiness.  It does not need the approval of a group of other enlightened masters.  Christ invited not only the Jews, but also the Gentiles to come to Him.  That encompasses the whole world.  In fact, he invited the Gentiles first in the verses above.  

If you believe you need to be in the right "circle", the right "club", the right "church", or even to follow the right "prophet" or "apostle", "pastor" or "teacher", rather than going DIRECTLY to the Lord Jesus Christ, I propose and suspect you might have missed the boat.  I only speak it from my own experience.  Belonging to such things is encouraged and promoted in our culture.  It feels good to be included and revered.  However if you are in such a group which intentionally excludes others, consider the possibility that you might be involved in a "secret" combination.  And likewise if you risk expulsion from such a group by talking about it openly with those outside the group, you're likely in one too.

I share this not to judge anyone, but simply realized this is a predominant theme of the Book of Mormon, which no one ever discusses the dangers of.  I was in one and not even realize it.

Christ wants us to come direct, uninvolved and unentangled with oaths of secrecy.

A city on a hill cannot be hid.  It will be powerful because of the Light, Life, and Truth which it contains.

Works of darkness will be destroyed when the light shines on them.  Come to Him, please, I beg.

With love, in Jesus' name.
~Jen    

A Magic 8 Ball Miracle

I would be remiss if I didn't testify...

Had to start the post like that.  This is one of those kinds of follow-ups.

My last post I compared a Magic 8 Ball to a Liahona.  The topic of the post came to me when I was reading the verses included.  I study here and there, but often when I blog something, it's because the insight comes strong enough to my heart and mind that my intellect is then connected to the knowledge that I need to share it.  That's what I did with the last post.

It's funny because Magic 8 Balls used to be really popular when I was a kid.  We never owned one though.  To be completely honest I rarely, if ever, think of them, and when I studied Alma 37 and wrote the post, it was probably the first time in years I had thought of one.  I am confident to say that it's probably been well over 12 years that I have not even touched one, if not longer.  [And I remember thinking it would be cool if I posted a picture of one, but I didn't want to take the time to search one out and copy and paste it in here.  Ah well for the picture variety.]

Well last Thursday I had my car into the shop to get our state inspection.  I tried to set it up on Monday, but they were too full of appointments at the shop, so the soonest they could get me in was Thursday.  That day, we had struggled to figure out how to drop the van off and get the kids to school.  Typically we take two cars and drop one off the night before, and retrieve it later.  This time I had to take it in and wait.  All this, after a summer-long of repairs.  We were several days late getting it in as well.

Anyways, I sat down to read, after explaining to the mechanic owner that I'd need to stay and wait.  I hoped he didn't mind.  I pulled out a book to read, called The Emotion Code, by Dr. Bradley Nelson.  This quote at the beginning struck me as so true.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but this is because fiction is obliged to stick to probability; truth is not. -Mark Twain

I read for over an hour, and was astounded at the amazing level of truth and insight the book contained.  To put the first 45 pages briefly, it demonstrated that we are all made of molecules which are 99.9% empty space.  The empty space is what connects us, and our molecules which make up our body and spirit.  However despite this space, we are connected both physically and energetically.  We can transmit information by frequency, or the energy it takes to vibrate the molecules in connection with the air.  The information is truth, which connects us not only to our own being, but also to the space and world, and even universe around us.  It also connects us to God.  This truly makes it possible for us to "feel" God with us, and for God to "be" in connection with us.  My friend calls this "grace", and stresses this as a major point of practicing Christian meditation.  To become still enough to "feel" God through our skin, despite the fact that He possesses an immortal body.  (God is Omnipotent and Omnipresent.)  That's another post though, and probably one I don't have the words or capability to quantify.

This book also discusses muscle testing, and how to do it.  Muscle testing is a tool, similar to dowsing, lie-detector tests, heartbeat monitors or other sensors which utilizes physical elements to discover truth about either physical or otherwise difficult to detect truths.  They rely on science, energy, and vibrations.  The book linked to scientific studies and articles regarding the brain as well, indicating this is all backed up by provable science.  I really appreciated having those studies footnoted.

Well as I was reading, the mechanic came back in and out of the office to record car notes, I suppose.  I looked up at him at the desk at one point, and noticed this, sitting on the desk.

Whaaaaat?????  I just blogged about this!  I asked the owner what it was for.  He said people are always asking him stuff like, "Will my car make it if I drive it to Florida?"  He said he tells them, "I don't know!  Ask the Magic 8 Ball."

So after he left, just for kicks I picked it up and gave it a jiggle, not really thinking too hard.

It told me to "Concentrate and ask again".  Ok.  I laughed.  You've got to be kidding me.  Was I wrong in my post?

Well, I'd been stressed over a bus stop situation at my kids' school.  Long story short, it had stressed me so much that it troubled me for days.  So remembering the post, and remembering the Liahona is NOT a Magic 8 ball, I thought to ask God, "God, could this act as a Liahona?  Could you give me some peace over this bus situation?  Can I use this to get an answer on this, so I can quit stressing?"  I had felt full of confusion.

So despite saying a Magic 8 Ball is NOT a Liahona, I asked God to have an answer to the question I posed.

I looked at it again.

I prayed.  Remembering that muscle testing is a tool, I realized that God can even use things like this to give answers.  He can use ANYTHING to give us answers, we just need to be faithful to accept it as such.  So despite my post, YES, a Magic 8 Ball CAN be a Liahona.  Or at least offer some direction.  "Will Mr. ___ and Dr. ___ move the bus stop to _____?  I really would appreciate it.  I know I have not exhibited any faith in the situation or asked You before.  But please, can you change or soften their hearts so they will change the bus stop to ___?  I am exerting faith now, and would like to be free from this horrible mood that has bothered me and stressed me out now for days."  I flipped it over.

Oh boy!!!  I laughed!  I smiled!  The funk I was in shifted.  I actually believe this was an answer to my prayer, my visualization of where the new bus stop will be.  Granted I have yet to see if it will be changed, or if the school folks will give a crap and actually come out and reconsider the stop.  But I know God heard my prayer here.  So many miracles lined up.

The inspiration about Magic 8 Balls came while reading, several days before.
I couldn't get the car in the shop for 4 more days, on Monday.
The reminder to post came Tuesday morning, and it was posted.
I missed the school bus on Wednesday, causing drama and even tears, as I asked the school administrators to consider (again) moving the stop for the kids' safety. (Ack!)
I had to sit in the office on Thursday, rather than just dropping off the car Wednesday night.
My husband was moody on Thursday morning, adding to my poor mood.
I had to take 4 kids to the bus stop that morning, as a reminder of how much I dislike the drive.
The Emotion Code was my book of choice, and I actually got time to read it.
It cleared up my understanding about tools used to discern and learn truth.
The mechanic walking in the office led my attention to the desk, where the Magic 8 Ball sat.
The AHA moment was had.

This was a miracle.

Walk in LOVE this day.  God is watching and DOES love you and me.

Not a Magic 8 Ball

Alma 37:38-47.5, with my own punctuation.

And now my son, I have somewhat to say concerning the thing which our fathers call a ball or director or our fathers called it Liahona, which is being interpreted a compass.  And the Lord prepared it, and behold there cannot any man work after the manner of so curious a workmanship.

And behold it was prepared to show unto our fathers the course which they should travel in the wilderness, and it did work for them according to their faith in God.  Therefore if they had faith to believe that God could cause that those spindles should point the way they should go, behold it was done.  

Therefore they had this miracle and also many other miracles wrought by the power of God day by day.  Nevertheless because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works they were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence.  And then those marvelous works ceased and they did not progress in their journey, therefore they tarried in the wilderness or did not travel a direct course and were afflicted with hunger and thirst because of their transgressions.  

And now my son, I would that ye should understand that these things are not without a shadow, for as our fathers were slothful to give heed to this compass (now these things were temporal) they did not prosper, even so it is with things which are spiritual, for behold it is as easy to give heed to the word of Christ which will point to you a straight course to eternal bliss, as it was for our fathers to give heed to this compass which would point unto them a straight course to the promised land.  

And now I say is there not a type in this thing?  For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers by following its course to the promised land, shall the words of Christ if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise.  O my son do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way!  For so it was with our fathers, for so was it prepared for them that if they would look they might live!  Even so it is with us, the way is prepared, and if we will look we may live forever.  And now my son see that ye take care of these sacred things, yea see that ye look to God and live!  

I had a rich discussion with a friend the other day.  She is a saint in so many ways.  Much of what I was saying seemed to be going unnecessarily far for her.  She asked, "But don't you think that just by being a good person, we can get there?"  She didn't see any problem with the drumbeat of "Following a Prophet," and figured as long as she did what was asked and served and was a good mom, her case was in good shape in the eternal realms.  Never mind what D&C 76 says.

In many ways I feel like she is in good shape, and it's not for me to judge.  But by taking out our 2nd hole of earrings because a man says so is indicative of our reliance on a Magic 8 ball, rather than a Liahona.  There is a difference.

When we use a Magic 8 ball, we shake it and ask a question.  We hope and hope and hope with all our might that the ball will give us the answer that we want.  We ride things out on superstition, and play along for fun.  The risks are not high, and we can be pretty slothful and come up with some less-than-serious questions.  Like "Will I marry Ricky Martin?"  Shake the ball, and get your answer.  It's pretty easy to disregard.  

With the Liahona, it did not work dependent upon the user's faith in the compass.  It was not a Magic 8 ball.  (Don't you think it's peculiar that we have a knockoff variety of the Liahona?  Does Satan have his imitation here?)  The Liahona strictly worked according to their faith in God, which was reflected in the action of the spindles.  They had to believe God was operating it and leading their journey, and they had to be full of faith in HIM.  If they were not faithful in the simple things, it would not work, despite their best hope and hope and hope and hope that it would work.  I can just see some of the guys complaining that the stupid thing wasn't working.  Perhaps they even began believing in the ball more than God himself?  Well how's your faith?  Do you have faith in a dead ball or in the living God?  That is the easiness of the way.  How easy is it to not even take the effort to notice the difference between a person/place/thing whose works are dead versus the living God?   

The Megamoon and Intercession

I am always, always transfixed when I see a full moon.  I was born on a night of a full moon, and my body and my family always notices when it's full.

Tonight it's a "supermoon", or as I like to call it, a MEGAMOON.  It's absolutely stunning.

Some people say the moon represents Christ.  They say the sun represents the Celestial glory, where the Father, Son and Holy Ghost dwell.  That the moon represents the Terrestrial glory, where the Son and Holy Ghost can go.  And the stars represent the billions of souls, and the Telestial glory.  (See 1 Corinthians 15.)

Remembering Christ on the full moon has been a beautiful thing for me.  I also remember Him when I think of the Sun, as a play on words for the Son.  But thinking of Him on the full moon is fun too, especially when symbolically we have a "blood moon", knowing that we are cleansed through His blood.

One thing I love to consider with the full moon is Christ's intercession on our behalf.  Everything He did was for us, and infinitely He acts as our mediator.  Rather than accuse us, he would seek to show mercy to us for our faults.  He intercedes between us fallen "stars", and links us to the Father, who is full of glory.  It might not be a perfect analogy, but seeing the full moon always reminds me that if I am to be like Him, I ought to consider the idea of being like Him.  How do I do that?  To imitate him in intercession is a big deal, and not an easy one.

One way I believe we can intercede is to pray on behalf of those who are our enemies, or who would spitefully use or abuse us.  There is a lot of talk of abuse towards many I love, as well as strangers.  How would it benefit us, to pray for those who treat us so poorly?  I have honestly felt such a quick lifting out of my sin, also known as hatred, by calling on the Lord for help when the natural woman in me would prefer to strike out in retaliation or hate.

Helaman 5:10:

And remember also the words which Amulek spake unto Zeezrom, in the city of Ammonihah; for he said unto him that the Lord surely should come to redeem his people, but that he should not come to redeem them in their sins, but to redeem them from their sins.    

So frequently when I ask the Lord where I ought to read, I am directed to Helaman 5: 10.  Fascinating how in this verse, Nephi and Lehi are remembering the words of their father, Helaman.  Helaman was asking them to remember the words of his father's friend, Amulek.  Here they tell me this message has been repeated at least three times, telling me how important it is.  (Makes me laugh that I've been led to this verse over and over again as well.)  It links back to Alma 11:34, where Zeezrom is contending with Amulek.

"Shall he (Christ) save his people in their sins?" Zeezrom asks.

"I say unto you he shall not, for it is impossible for him to deny his word," Amulek declares.

Talking to the crowd, Zeezrom tries to lawyer him, twisting his words as though Amulek were saying that he (Amulek) could command God.  Amulek calls him on it.

Amulek says, "Behold thou has lied(!), for thou sayest that I spake as though I had authority to command God because I said he shall not save his people IN their sins.  And I say unto you AGAIN that he CANNOT save them in their sins; for I CANNOT DENY his word, and he hath said that NO unclean thing can inherit the kingdom of heaven; therefore how can ye be saved, except ye inherit the kingdom of heaven?  Therefore ye cannot be saved in your sins."

Having read this a ton of times, I never really understood, but after seeing the shopping cart lady this week, the lightbulb went off!  Jesus can't save me IN sin, but he saves me, lifts me out, and pulls me above my sin.  This is walking me toward that inheritance of the "kingdom of heaven".  He does not want me to be a jerk to those who are jerks to me.  Retaliation is not pleasing to him, just like it doesn't please me when my kids fight.  But Jesus certainly does a fabulous job at lifting me up out of the mire.  

The moon's full circle reminds me that we are to come full circle.  We are to not repeat and recycle our sins, but be lifted out of our sinful behavior and progress.  It reminds me of "one eternal round".  It also reminds me that the light shines on the good and the bad, even though through the daily rising setting it waxes and wanes.  

Jesus Take the Wheel

Alma 41:12-15:

"And now behold, is the meaning of the word restoration to take a thing of a natural state and place it in an unnatural state, or to place it in a state opposite to its nature?

O, my son, this is not the case; but the meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again evil for evil, or carnal for carnal, or devilish for devilish–good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful.  

Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually ; and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again. 

For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all."

This is Alma, talking to his son, Corianton.

I want to share this post not to glory in myself, but to glory in my Jesus, for He hath redeemed my soul from hell today.  Truly.

About a year ago, I had a really wonderful trip with my son to the grocery store.  His siblings had all gone off to school, and since it was just he and I, I dared take him shopping.  Typically shopping with children stresses me out so badly that I will go late at night, when I can go without kids along.  But I thought I would try my patience with him, and we ventured together.

Well we had just a truly marvelous time.  I felt great success at not having any personal meltdowns inside the store.  (Imagine that!  A mom melting down with a child in the store!)  We loaded all the groceries into the trunk of our van, and he wanted to climb over the seats and play while I returned the cart to the cart return.  I was happy to let him do it.

Seeing that my dad and husband both work retail and have to push carts not infrequently, I typically return the carts to the front of the store, because I hope it might be a small service to the folks that work there.  On this occasion, I chose to return the cart to the front, since it was decently close to where I parked.  We were about 30-40 feet away from the entrance.

When I returned to my car, I got a decent scolding from a mom who observed that I had left my child in the car, unattended.  I don't know if she believed it evil that I left him to return the cart, or if she mistakenly assumed that I had gone shopping completely without him.  Either way, she unleashed her evil wrath at my horrid negligence at leaving my poor child with a piece of pretzel in his hands.

"He could have choked!" she stressed.  Well, obviously he didn't.  But SuperMom of the Year felt it her job to correct me, regarding the state laws pertaining to leaving children unattended.

I had simply walked the damned cart to the front of the store.  Seriously woman.

Well I googled the "law" she claimed, and found that many states do not permit you to leave your child unattended, period.  I read one mom's horrific account of a complete stranger who videotaped her leaving her child in the car when she ran inside for a quick whatever.  She was taken to court, lost custody of her child, and had lots of fines and lawyer costs.  Her defense was that it was a 70 degree day out, and her son was playing a Nintendo DS or something.  He was fine.  But the onlooker videotaped her, her license plate, and her son; then they turned her in, and never once spoke to her.

{And lest anyone take this to mean I condone leaving kids unattended in hot cars, that is NOT what I'm doing.  I understand the need for the laws to prevent kids being harmed through that kind of negligence.  We saw it happen just a few weeks ago, and parents ought to not be stupid about this.  It's serious, and I get it.}

Back to the other mom with the kid playing the DS.  It was a horrific example of abuses of this law and a complete lack of common sense, or even common courtesy from her accuser.  She was put through hell because she left her 9 year old kid in the car, and he didn't want to go inside but was content to play a video game in the cool air.

Well anyways, this put quite a bit of anxiety in me, and I resolved to be careful how I left my kids, and I would also keep my eye out for this woman.  Today I saw her again.

I saw her brown car with the white stripe on the top.  My hands began shaking.  I waited for her to get out of the car to make sure it was her.  I pulled up next to her car, peeked in the window, and sure enough, it looked like her.  Unnerved, I pulled forward and into the shade, to see if when she got out, her features were the same in my memory.  Yep.  I watched her and her friend examine something on the back end of her car, and walk into the store.

Recognizing the increase in the shaking of my hands, I pondered what I should do.  For a year I've been wondering if she would have confronted me had she realized I'd just simply returned the cart to the cart return.  I have wanted to set her straight, and see if her intent was to be a mean human, or if she just jumped to conclusions.  I hoped maybe she was just mistaken and had a measure of common sense, and I could go back to dreaming that people in this town were kind and concerned, not concerned and rude.

Eventually I realized I could not walk in the store and confront her, and pulled away, but first wondered what they were looking at on the back of her car.  In giving it a glance, I noticed her car registration was expired.  Not barely expired, but FOUR MONTHS expired.  I pulled out my cell phone, took a pic, zoomed in further, and took a close up pic.  Oooh, WOW!!!  The woman who had cause to accuse me of breaking the law, leaving my child endangered, and invoking the fear of all hell into me was in the store, leaving her beautiful car right there with an expired registration.

Holy cow.  I could so easily accuse her.  I could so easily call the police that second and have her car impounded, fined, or something that would give her a true pain in the arse.  Jesus take the wheel!

And he did.  And drove me to the store just across the parking lot, where my dad and husband were ironically both on shift working.  The verses above this post were swimming through my mind.

"...the meaning of the word restoration is to bring back again evil for evil, or carnal for carnal, or devilish for devilish–good for that which is good; righteous for that which is righteous; just for that which is just; merciful for that which is merciful." 

I shared with both my dad and Dan the scenario.  I had evidence in my hands that my previous accuser was driving while breaking the law.  Raw, living evidence.  Should I go confront her?  Ask her to apologize for bringing unnecessary anxiety into my life?  Should I ask to be friends, and thank her for caring enough to bring the dangers of my actions to my attention?  Should I take my evidence to the police, and let them decide, and tell me if I have any standing for my fears of leaving my kids even momentarily unattended ever since the incident a year ago?  

My dad and husband had varying views.  Fortunately my dad distracted me with something else, and I had to ignore the severe temptation to confront her and bring contention into my otherwise beautiful day – ironically which was again, a beautiful day with my son. 

"Therefore, my son, see that you are merciful unto your brethren; deal justly, judge righteously, and do good continually..."  

I had asked the Lord after the incident with her a year ago to give me another try.  I didn't like how I handled this beast of a woman last year, and I wanted a chance to do better.  Here it was.  Would I be merciful, vindictive, or exact judgment?

 "Judgment is mine, and I will repay."

Ok Lord.  It's all you.

I let Jesus take the wheel, and drove home.  I am learning that something truly magical happens when we go to our Lord for help in situations like this.  I used to seek others' opinions or solutions.  I used to also trust in the arm of the flesh, and think I had to sort it out, or act as judge and jury, holding onto grudges.  But again, LOVE... LOVE wins.  

The Spirit whispered that I could go give her a hug.  I could offer her a free massage, because obviously she was stressed to approach a stranger and be Mrs. Police Officer.  I could ask her if she knew how much her actions bothered me.  Or I could simply let Jesus work it out, and let HIM hold the judgment, and take hold of this ONE scenario in my life as an opportunity to forgive as I want to be forgiven.  This used to be so hard, but on a daily basis I am finding that the more I call out to Him when my hands start shaking with apprehension or contention, the more quickly He takes over!  I love it!  It is truly, truly a wonder – wonderful – to behold.  He is quicker, more fast acting than any essential oil, vitamin, psychotherapist, or guru.  I don't even need to read a scripture verse to call on Him.  He's so quick, even if I don't get to call Him by name.  I just think of Him, and there He is.

"...and if ye do all these things then shall ye receive your reward; yea, ye shall have mercy restored unto you again; ye shall have justice restored unto you again; ye shall have a righteous judgment restored unto you again; and ye shall have good rewarded unto you again."

Daymon Smith points out in his Volume One: A Cultural History of the Book of Mormon that these verses are the only space in the Book of Mormon where the concept or word "restoration" is discussed.  And it is entirely a different principle than how we refer to the word in the church today.  But I really love this teaching, in this accurate form.  I wish we would stress it more, as followers of Christ.  Rather than exact justice on this stranger woman, I was able to practice extending a measure of good for bad.  She didn't even know I was there!!!  But here in my hands, I had the power to accuse *anonymously,* or forgive.  I could also pretend to be her judge, and confront her with shaking hands and a heart full of fear (which she had dished out, thereby offering my own form of "restoration"), but it felt so much better to give it to Christ, including the fearful, trembling heart.  Would He offer me a better reward, for letting Him do the job of judge and jury?  After all, He knows her better than I do, and He knows what was plaguing her to say and do what she did.  He knows how to teach and coax her better, and He knows that it would do me a world of ill and near heart attack to confront her.  Let's test Him.

By giving it completely to Him, He offered me healing.  All I had to do was let go of the tightness of my grip on the situation.

For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all."

I hope that in this one instance, I (actually, "We") got it right.  Joy!  Yay!  It feels good to know that I can go to sleep, confident that I (We) did what Jesus suggested in this one instance.

"...I glory in my Jesus, for he hath redeemed my soul from hell!"  (2 Ne. 33:6)  

Thank you, Lord!  One step at a time, right?

LOVE to you!
~Jen:)   

I'm Sorry for Being a Half-Assed Friend

I'm not sure that there's any other way to put it.

To Joseph,

I'm sorry for being a half-assed friend half my life.  I believed I was pretty loyal to you, and pretty supportive of your role and mission.  I always felt a strong connection with your testimony and experiences.  I even related to your home life in the country in the beautiful northeast.  But I'm sorry I only knew half of it.

I acted like just because I related to your story, that I honestly had a clue about half of what you taught.  I'm sorry that I only took things as they were fed to me, and neglected what you were really about.  It apparently was quite concealed for many years, but I should have been more valiant in respecting the whole story.  I'm sorry for not caring to get myself a copy of the Lectures on Faith until a few years ago.  I'm sorry for not being more stalwart in your defense when friends drag your name through the mud.  I look forward to the unclear history being sorted out in full, not just in part.  I'm sorry for being a half-assed friend.  I hope as things continue to unfold, that I'm not speaking in ignorance.  But I really regret being a friend in name only.

I also hope that moving forward, I respect your request to not put so much trust in you and your experiences, but I hope I can grow in my own relationship with God.  I will try to remember that you were human.  I pray God will grant me discernment to know which of your words are accurate, and which have been tainted by men.  I'd also like to know which revelations were true to begin with, and will attempt to not be darkened in my mind by assuming that because you received them, that I have no need to verify them by God.  You warned me of that, clearly.  You cannot help it if I act in ignorance.  You certainly tried very hard to share as much as you could.

I will try to be a better friend.  I love that you gave so much of yourself and sacrificed so much for us to have the information you passed along.  You truly gave a lot, as well as your family.  I can't even imagine doing that myself, and am so grateful to you and your family.  Truly.  

With love, to you, Emma, and the rest,
~Jen

The Floor is Falling

Tonight I was reminded of a dream I had a few weeks ago.  I attempted to share it then, but felt restrained from sharing.  The timing now feels appropriate.

My parents own a home in a neighboring town which my mother, grandmother, and family has lived in for generations.  It is over 100 years old, and one of the oldest homes in the town.  It is small, two story, and according to my dad, was made by laying wood board by board, without studs in the wall, with plaster and lathe.  He described one point years ago, where he picked up the linoleum in the kitchen and there was a dime sized hole.  Upon returning to repair it, the hole had spread and he ended up needing to repair quite a bit more.  The home is old, but miraculously holds up despite years of renters and change.  My dad is a master repairman.  Truly a "Jack of all Trades".

In the dream, I began by entering in the main floor, at an entrance which, as in most dreams, is not where it currently is in real life.  I entered this main floor, and spent some time there.  After playing with friends (I felt like a child), I climbed up a stairway which went to my right (I was facing eastward), then turned to the left halfway up.  Upon arriving on the second floor, I noticed that the only steady and safe ground on the flooring was right at the top of the steps.

Realizing this, I clung to the solid area of floor, as if it would save me.  My family and friends were enjoying some sort of party on the second floor, and although the floor was literally beginning to droop beneath their feet, they did not notice, and continued to eat and drink and enjoy the music.  I kept calling out to them, "Don't you see the floor is falling?!  Don't you feel it falling???!"  They all seemed to say, "No, it's just fine!" and carried on with their fiesta.

Fortunately, and typical of most dreams, I woke up before anything else happened.  The floor around the stairway did seem to sink at least 6-8".  I woke up troubled, as I knew the interpretation.

The floor is falling.

This photo is one I took tonight after painting a kitchen wall in the home tonight.  This is exactly where I was in my dream, although the center of the floor is where the stairs came up in my dream, and I was looking from the opposite corner.  The floor literally is sinking as the house settles at the corners of the structure.  But that's not where I'm going with this.

A house not built upon a Rock is not steady.  It is NOT sure.  It is NOT safe.  And the floors ARE falling.  Even though everyone around you might be eating, drinking, and playing merry, there is ONE sure foundation, and we must cling to the Rock, whereupon if men build they will not fall.  Because the floor is currently falling.  Eat, drink, be merry, and feel free to marginalize me if it helps you sleep better.  But be warned.  It is falling.

Is your home built upon the Rock?  I can say with certainty that feeling your world fall around you is not an enjoyable feeling.  But falling with it would be worse.  Please don't fall with it.

I write this because I LOVE you, and I hope this helps someone out there reading.  Please find the Rock, and build upon Him, even Christ Jesus.  When my heart began pounding tonight as my dream returned to my recollection, and fear literally overtook me, calling out to Him again and again was the only thing to bring me calm.  It only took a minute or so before the Blessed Peace was there.  May He be the One to bring you Calm in the days ahead.

With fullness of LOVE,
~Jen

Focus on ONE thing

When you focus on one thing, with stillness, all other things seem to fade away.

(Tip: watch the video below on full screen.)

"Be still, and know that I am God;" - Psalms 24:10

I LOVE you. :)