I LOVE you

Today is a special day.

Yesterday I was searching Pinterest for some decorating ideas.  My two younger sons were tasked by my dad with painting an old bookshelf.  I ended up joining in to help spread the paint, and then took it further and worked on another bookshelf someone donated to me weeks ago.  They were painted pink.

I searched Pinterest to see if there were any creative bookshelf ideas, or ways I could spruce up this bookshelf, and came across this post by a gal named Toby Fairley.  The post really moved me greatly.  She chose a word to focus on for the year, which was a personality trait or characteristic she wanted to not lose sight of.  The word for her was DISCIPLINE.  This is one of my weakest areas.  Our family struggles with obesity, addiction, and in many ways, laziness.  So I'm always looking for ways to break free of these habits and traditions.

Toby's focus on a word for a year really struck me, so realizing that for me, today is an important day, I set my mind that I too would pick a word for the year to focus on.  It's not discipline (HA! -although she did inspire me) but has to do with lifelong intention, and that is LOVE.

Some of my deepest running weaknesses, when I stop to self-examine, are pride, envy, jealousy, hate, and anger.  Yesterday's post was a perfect example of pride on display.  Gossiping, criticizing, or open jealousy in the form of "venting" are easy for me.  This morning as I pondered what I wanted to make of this year, I asked God what I could do to change for the better.  What would help me better hear God speaking to me?  It is so easy to be confused in thinking that my way of hearing God's voice has to look or sound like someone else's, and I tend to believe their words, opinions, or warnings over what I feel God has told me.  I compare myself to them, and think that I am inferior, and covet their clarity or gifts.

I don't hear Jesus talking, or really know His voice like many say they do.
I don't have dreams which contain clear messages.
I don't have 100% moral clarity or confidence in understanding messages in the scriptures, nor to I believe that I am any authority worth really listening to.

With such lack of understanding of how God speaks to me, and such confusion, I asked God what I could focus on this year, to achieve more clarity, and truly understand His voice and how He speaks with me, individually.  The answer that came to mind that no part of me can shoot down with deductive reasoning is that LOVE is the one thing that I can't go wrong with.  And if I did go wrong with it, it would be more of someone else's weakness or insecurities getting in the way, not mine.

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—

But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him. -Moroni 7:46-47 

So beginning this day, demonstrating LOVE in whatever way that comes to me will be the motive. Whether I get to tell you outright that I LOVE you in every conversation, or perhaps I will say that I love something you do, you wear, you said, or anything else, I intend to find ways to share LOVE fully.  Even if I have to fake it till I make it, I will work on it.  Mark my words.  Starting this day.  

LOVE to YOU and yours,
~Jen <3

Pride and a Chocolate Pool

Hard hearted

A few days ago I broke my Facebook hiatus.  I had someone sign up for my business services, and part of my service for them includes adding them to a private Facebook group.  So I broke my hiatus in order to add them to the group, and in the process, felt good about sticking around for awhile.  

In doing so, I noticed that the same things that led me to get off of Facebook were still there.  Here are about 15 of favorite and least favorite.  

1. The folks who believe they have to be witty and creative in their posts, still are.  As if they are an artist or poet on display, trying to entertain their "reader" friends with something reminiscent of Animaniacs.  It rarely makes sense and is completely self-absorbed.    
2. Some still complain about their ex-boyfriends, or "smh-ing" every post.  It took me a long time to realize what "smh" meant.  I used to think it was an expression of the mouth, made in exasperation.  Then I realized it meant "shaking my head".  Either way, it verbalizes their expression of public shaming towards someone who obviously isn't reading the post.
3. We need to pray that dominoes don't fall so that the world won't fall apart in September, due to economic, political, and physical continental collapse.  We need to pray, pray, pray, just to make it today, 'as why we pray... (pray!) pray... (praaay!!!)  
4. The world is not going to end in September.  But then again, we are not to "follow" people who say this anyway, so getting hopped up in believing it will or won't end according to these "not prophets" is a good exercise in swimming with the tides.  And we're still all fools for not believing these "not prophets", whichever way they turn on any given day.  Did you know that "Fools!" is the Disney foul-word of choice when the villains are really angry at the protagonists?  {"Fools!  What are you doing?  I told you to follow Ariel to the palace!"}
5. The ward Facebook group continues to be a place for happy thoughts, only now men are permitted into the "Relief Society Gals" group.  Kind of an interesting timing, don't you think? 
6. Du+chs1nse still is right about his earthquake predictions, and will tell you (again) that of course he predicted this, and of course fracking is going to cause earthquakes of monumental proportions, and soon.  Stupid frackers.  And of course the government is trying to marginalize him, because he is doing such a fine job exposing their backroom deals.  
7. We still all matter.  All you black folk too.  And you Muslims, Buddhists, and Mormons.  And you Indians on the Rez.  
8. People are still arguing over Joseph Smith and what he did or didn't do with his genitals.  Let's not worry about what terrorists or human traffickers, or even loved ones addicted to porn are doing with theirs though. Because that might actually make a difference in the present world in which we live.   
9. Some are still facing religious excommunication.  And others are still flying under the radar.
10. Kitties and dog videos are still so cute.  
11. Ben Phillips is still pranking his friend, and his friend doesn't think it's funny.  He still has a mohawk, Just like Ryan Tedder.  Only Ryan Tedder's is cooler, imo. 
12. One of my friends has a new boyfriend.  And the picture of their tongues touching was really kinda disgusting.  Sorry if you're reading this.  But you shouldn't put that stuff on Facebook, ever. 
13. I had two friends I didn't wish a happy birthday. I hope they had happy birthdays!  
14. No comment. 
15. Pride among various groups is as strong as ever.       

Needless to say, I got back off about as quickly as I got on.  Maybe I'll be back, but I found I was just as addicted as I was before I got off in July, despite the ever-so-pleasant observations.  When I look at the time I spent with my kids, I don't regret it for a minute.  Did I miss anything of import?  Is it all just gossip?  Was my life improved?  Did my friendships develop any better with the people entrenched in it?  Most didn't really even realize I was gone.

It surprised me that the relationships that developed the most were with these people who chose to keep up outside of Facebook.  Texts, calls, and visits increased in quantity and quality.  And in returning to Facebook, even for a day, I observed that even the people I previously felt most drawn to were some of the least likely to have any personal communication with me.  The relationships I imagined were there, in all actuality, weren't.  And aren't.  Not that it's their fault or anything.  It takes two to tango, you know? 

In studying the frequency of the words "heart" and "hardness" in the Book of Mormon, I am convinced that Facebook is a place for the hardening of hearts.  It is a distraction, where people like me often forget that there are other people behind their monitors with real hearts and feelings.  There is little effort in self-censorship.  There is little true caring or buoying.  It's a 24-7 war of words, self promotion, and self flattery, even if we think we're putting good stuff out there.  Finding a fitting quote on pride was easy: 

"I think that the Bible teaches that homosexuality is a sin, but the Bible also teaches that pride is a sin, jealousy is a sin, and hate is a sin, evil thoughts are a sin. So I don't think that homosexuality should be chosen as the overwhelming sin that we are doing today." - Billy Graham

I believe pride and self-promoting found on Facebook are a sign of our times, almost more so than homosexuality.  Take a break and look at how real your Facebook "relationships" are.  Compare it to how much time you spend on it, and divide it by 7. Times your answer by 43 and you'll get how many steps it takes to get to heaven.  Just kidding.

Doesn't this post sound hard hearted?  That's how I felt by the time I got off.


The Pool

We have a pool in the backyard.  I've taken pictures over the years we've had it.  Sometimes it's blue, like when we clean it out.

Sometimes it's green, which is quite frequently, because we can't seem to keep the ph balanced.

And then today, for the first time ever, after re-filling it this weekend, and my dad adding chemicals last night to shock it, it turned green again.  And then I looked a few hours later, and it looked like this.

Coffee!  Chocolate?  Never in my life have I seen a pool this brown.  Never.  I'm sure it's just a chemical reaction.  But worth sharing, for what it's worth.  It took me at least 10 hours to consider that it might be a sign or symbol of some sort.  It will take at least 10 times cleaning the filter before we have any hopes of it becoming clear.  Or we could just drain it and start over, again.

Enjoy!  

Alma 42: Justice and Mercy

Alma 42:4

And thus we see, that there was a time granted unto man to repent, yea, a probationary time, a time to repent and serve God.

Alma 42:7

And now, ye see by this that our first parents were cut off both temporally and spiritually from the presence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own will.  

Alma 42:9

Therefore, as the soul could never die, and the fall had brought upon all mankind a spiritual death as well as a temporal, that is, they were cut off from the presence of the Lord, it was expedient that mankind should be reclaimed from this spiritual death.  

Alma 42:13

Therefore, according to justice, the plan of redemption could not be brought about, only on conditions of repentance of men in this probationary state, yea, this preparatory state; for except it were for these conditions, mercy could not take effect except it should destroy the work of justice.  Now the work of justice could not be destroyed; if so, God would cease to be God. 

Alma 42:17

Now, how could a man repent except he should sin?  How could he sin if there was no law?  How could there be a law save there was a punishment? 

Alma 42:28

If he has desired to do evil, and has not repented in his days, behold, evil shall be done unto him, according to the restoration of God.   

Alma 42:29

And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.  

Alma 42:30

O my son, I desire that ye should deny the justice of God no more.  Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his mercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in humility.   

Hearts

"A heart is able to sustain life 70 - 80 - 100 years. But the heart that takes time to touch another heart has truly accomplished something that will outlast both of their lifetimes."

This quote was hand typed onto a page inserted into a notebook given to a friend of mine. She gave me the name of the sister who wrote it, but it's hidden away on my closed Facebook account.

While at BYU, I attended a Book of Mormon class offered by Reed Benson, President Ezra Taft Benson's son. As part of the course, he had us read and semi-memorize some of his father's talks.  One of them was his "Beware of Pride" talk.  It was stressed that President Benson felt that one of the key messages of the Book of Mormon was pride, and the cycle that followed a proud people.

During the most recent Passover, I began reading the story of Moses.  I observed the repeated use of the word "hard-hearted" in the account, and I began drawing hearts around the word "heart", in any form.  This practice took over my study of all scripture (and sometimes other books too), and has become an interesting visual as I flip through my scriptures.  

A day or so ago I was led to Psalms 24.  I read it over and over.  These verses stuck out: 

He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.  He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and his righteousness from the God of his salvation.  This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob.  Selah.  - Psalms 24: 4-6

As I was cleaning out some boxes yesterday, I came across an old book about baptism.  It was interesting to me, that the primary lesson for the intended childhood audience was that doing and performing good and was the key to making it into God's kingdom.  Yet that is all about outward things, and we are a people of outward ordinances.  But the Lord wants a pure heart.

When I skim over the pages in the Book of Mormon that I've read with my children since Passover (springtime), it is somewhat astounding to view how frequently hearts are referenced.  I'll paste in some page views for your viewing pleasure.

Since beginning this practice with my little red pencil, it has been astounding to see how frequently I come across the word "heart", referring to God speaking to one's heart, being hard-hearted, soft-hearted, and other variations.  Almost every time I open up the scriptures, there it is, regardless of whether or not I am looking at the Old Testament, New Testament, Book of Mormon, Doctrine & Covenants, or Pearl of Great Price.

It's also been tempting to start drawing hearts around similar words that refer to the same concept (like beloved, love, swelling, etc.).  My kids have really enjoyed having a reason to draw in their scriptures too.  More importantly it has reminded me as I read, that the Lord looks upon our hearts, and even more than pride, this is one of the most dominant themes in the written word – all of them.

God IS Love.  It is no wonder that so much effort is made to point out that this center for feeling love is so crucial for our understanding.  I wonder if we ignore it, in lieu of preferring to focus more on the damnable negativity and others' sins?  Guilty!  But working on it.

Love conquers all.  Charity is the Pure Love of Christ.  Without charity man is nothing.  Let us focus more today on Love than we did yesterday.  I believe this has more to do with rising up than we may have any idea of.   

On Your Knees

Wow, what a bizarre train of experiences this week.

Episode 1

Yesterday after a long discussion with my mother, she asked me to point out something we ought to do differently at church.  One simple idea I had was concerning the ordinance of the sacrament.  I believe it would be wise to follow the instructions in the scriptures, which indicate we are to kneel.

We spent the next several minutes with her objecting to kneeling, and saying she does not feel any closer to God when praying on her knees vs her backside.  She has bad knees, so I understand.  But I stressed the point that when we kneel, we are being subservient.  We are humbling ourselves.  I could not think of any human to which I had ever got down on my knees in front of.  It is an act of submission, and it is a big deal, especially for an ordinance we are to conduct routinely.

Episode 2

My oldest son was at Scout camp this past week.  He turned 12 in July, and has never been to a "12 year-old" scout activity, technically, although he's been pretty active with the younger scouts.  He showed up at camp on Monday with the rest of the ward boys, and they seemed to have a pretty good week.  Tonight the rest of our family showed up at camp for "Family Night" and observed a pretty cool Order of the Arrow ceremony, which is a group gathering for all the Scout troops at camp, and they offer awards for exemplary service, various badges, and congrats.  There is also a part at the end which is very ceremonial, and new scouts who are inducted into the "Order of the Arrow" are essentially called out from their packs to join this special group.

{I will admit the experience had me toggling between extremes of approval and disapproval.  I'll save it for later, after sitting on it awhile.}

The boys in each troop earned their given awards at this ceremony, and after an hour or so we were dismissed back to the individual troop camps, where more congrats and edifying of the boys was done.  Our troop didn't earn many awards at the ceremony, as most of our boys were very young, so the leaders wanted to boost their self esteem a bit, since other troops earned the bulk of the awards.

After roasting a s'more for myself and my kids, we started heading for home, which meant we got to walk through a very large, open field in the dark.  I turned on my flashlight on my cell phone, and as it lit the way, my young son noticed he looked like an alien in the shadow.  So he began dancing around like a little monster.  There were some boys walking on a pathway about 80 feet away or so, who noticed, and began laughing and commenting on him.  All fun, right?  They must not have realized we could hear them, because one of them dropped some seriously profane language, directed toward my son.  I called out and asked him to please watch his mouth.  I had 3 young kids listening, and scouts ought to be considerate, especially with language and courtesy.  Presuming this would be moderately well received, seeing that Scouting is big on honor and respect, I didn't expect to see my husband put our duffle bag down and start hustling towards the boys like he was going to bust some chops.  I told him twice to stop, and he did.  I didn't need to break up any fights.

"What did they say [that got you so upset]?" I asked him.

"That they're going to find that b**** and s**** her in the middle of the night."

Whaa---???  I then took his place and began running after the boys, who had begun hustling off a few moments before when they realized a big dude was after them.  I don't know what was going through my mind, except that I did not want to be an accuser, but someone had to call the behavior to someone's attention, and immediately.  When they realized my flashlight was after them, they began running back to their site, which was near our ward's.

Upon finding the boys, I found one who said the words and 2 who were alongside him.  One teen pretended to be the Scout leader, when I asked who the leader was.  I left him and asked around and eventually found the real leader, a tall, lean man with a white beard.  I told him what we had heard, and he was NOT pleased.  He found the boy with the foul mouth, and while turned away from me, received a confession that it was him with the language.  This is where the eye opening comes.  He insisted the boy apologize to me and my son (who he had been mocking), and he refused.  The leader apologize to me, saying he was "profoundly sorry" (and also likely embarrassed) for the boy's actions, and was just beyond disbelief.  He then turned to the boy, and commanded him to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness for his actions.  I do believe my mouth dropped a bit, when the teenager (probably 14) got on his knees, and said, "I am so, so sorry."  He looked like he was about to cry, kneeling in front of myself, my son, his leader, and his whole troop.

What happened next was not really worth repeating, beyond to say that my heart broke for this boy.  I assume there is no leadership at home.  I assume he is watching violent or explicit content videos, if not porn, where it is completely ok to say such things to women.  Perhaps he is being molested.  Perhaps he is involved with a gang.  Perhaps all these boys were.  I asked one of the boys which troop they were part of, and recalled that their troop had won zero special awards at the Order of the Arrow ceremony.  They were perhaps from an inner city church.  This isn't what we hear in the country.

It horrified me to have a young boy on his knees in front of me.  I expected nothing like that, and felt horrified on his behalf.  I did not want him humiliated, and it seemed unChristian to do so.  However I understand the need to teach him, especially as a scout, but more as a respectable human being, that it is never, EVER acceptable to tell a woman you're going to find her and rape or assault her.  NEVER.  EVER.

I begged him in the short time I was there to please don't ever speak to women like that.  To the random reader, I beg of you too to never speak to women like that, and teach your children to respect women, and men.  It horrifies me to think of any young man growing up in a home or even on the streets where such behavior is modeled.  And what's worse, is to consider that these were just words uttered to a stranger in the dark of night.  The truly horrific part is that there are grown men who treat women, or other men in this manner.  To speak the words is beyond vile.  I have never heard such things in my life.

Conclusion

Boys, please don't speak to women that way.  Men, please don't think you will have any standing whatsoever to ever treat a woman, much less any human, with that much disrespect.  God will forgive, and begs us to repent.  I was heartened by the seriousness with which the boy's leader handled the situation, as well as disheartened to wonder what this boy will go home to tomorrow, when this is all said and done.  I beg the God will protect and heal him and his heart.

After all that is going on with the Boy Scouts of America, and all the uncertainty I've had regarding Scouts for my children, I will say that more than ever, I am convinced that Scouting IS a good program, and while perhaps imperfect, for some kids, it is probably one of the few spaces out there which provides increased modeling of what it's like to be a man.  I am not convinced that the Church is the best outlet for implementing a Scouting program (I'll save that for another post, perhaps), however I feel content to say that I feel completely convinced after tonight that it would be better for us to lend the organization our prayers, rather than detract from it as I have in the past.  It is better to wrap an imperfect organization in our arms with love and prayer than to tear it down.  I will attempt to do more of that with both the Boy Scouts and the Church, however imperfect.

And to my mother.  I have no words to express how intensely I feel that seeing one on their knees in a position of begging does indeed demonstrate both humility, respect, and submission.  Absolutely humiliating, and rarely done to other humans.  I can understand why Nephi was so put off when his brothers got on their knees in front of him.  It is not comfortable to be in a receiving position of such attention, and I would submit that such things ought to be held in reservation for God alone.  Perhaps it is telling that men, when proposing to their future wife, will get down on one knee in an act of pleading.  There is more symbolism in the knees than we have any idea of.  

Controversial Truths (Website)

Two nights ago I stumbled across a highly interesting website.

In various groups, I keep hearing various persons use the name Yahweh as the name of the Lord.  As a young woman, I had a friend whose father worshiped with the Jehovah's Witnesses, among other groups, and she frequently would use the name Yahweh for God.  I remember thinking it was weird.  Like, really, really weird, such that I thought she was a little "not all there".  But after reading this site, and having things explained in such a clear fashion, it makes a who lot of sense.

The site's name is Righteous Warriors.com, and the article which discusses this can be found here.  There is a whole series, much of which I have not yet covered, and may or may not support or agree with, but I found the first two articles in the series on Controversial Truths to be very enlightening.  In fact, I've found them so enlightening that I've considered adjusting my prayers accordingly, and may even try using a new version of the Bible for study.  (GASP!)  That's a pretty big deal for me.  No official decisions made yet though.  But if reading a new version makes the Bible all the more understandable as the author indicates, I should be all for it.

Hope you enjoy, and feel free to share thoughts or comments if you check it out!

Homage to a Great One

When I was 16 years old or so, I had an opportunity to learn piano from one of the great instructors in our community.  Nevelyn Knisely was a retired professor from Lebanon Valley College, a local college which specializes in music performance and instruction.  My mother had apparently asked a friend from church whose husband also works at the college for references of a good piano instructor for me.  I loved playing and had somewhat outgrown my previous teachers.  Our friend recommended Nevelyn highly, and I began playing again under her tutelage.

We focused primarily on modern classics with swift tempos which would entertain audiences.  Nevelyn enjoyed fast fingers, and had be practicing with two-handed double octave scales.  I tired of that quickly and soon wanted to quit.  I preferred to play pieces for enjoyment, and could not be bothered with rote scales, as cool as they were at first.  

I remember having her call on the phone, after my mom told her I wanted to stop.  "Please don't quit," she said.  "You've got such talent.  It would just be such a shame to see you quit.  Please just keep on playing.  We don't have to do scales."  So I continued on.  

Somewhere in my home I'm sure I have the recital pieces we played.  She would have each of her students do a solo piece, and then at the end she did 4 handed duets with all of us.  Those were some of the funnest pieces, and truly instilled a joy in me for playing which I had not experienced doing solos. 

Several years ago when I first began playing on my electric piano (gasp!), I had a prompting that when I returned to Pennsylvania, I ought to see if I could find Nevelyn and thank her for keeping me going.  When I returned, I asked my friend if Nevelyn was still alive, and she said that she was, but that she had Alzheimer's and was living in a nursing home.  I was prompted to go find her and play for her, even if she couldn't remember me.  But I let life get in the way.  

Eight days ago, as I sat down to practice the organ music for the upcoming Sunday, I had a similar prompting.  Go play for Nevelyn.  Music speaks to the mind and heart in ways that words cannot always reach.  Even if she wouldn't remember me, maybe the music would speak to her?  So at church the next day, I asked my friend again, "Have you heard how Nevelyn is?  Is she still among the living?"  She confirmed that she believed so, and that she was still in the nursing home.  

I intended to go visit her later that day, and got distracted.  I also felt lazy, and was intimidated with trying to figure out how to find her at this nursing home.  Really, could it be all that hard?  So I neglected the prompting, again.  

Thursday night... reminded in spirit again... Go play for Nevelyn.  

Friday afternoon, received an email from my friend.  She says it's interesting that I asked her last Sunday how Nevelyn was, as she had passed away the night before.  Ugh.  No.  No, no, no!  

Here is her obituary.  Her work was so prolific that they named an award at the college after her.  What a rare feat!  What a woman!

I am convinced that she was one of the great ones referenced in Abraham 3:22.  

Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones; And God saw these souls that they were good...

Reading Nevelyn's obituary inspires me.  It's amazing what one person can fit into a lifetime, all before 16 years of Alzheimer's.  Today in Sunday School, the mutual friend from church mentioned that Luke 24:32 inspired the song "Thy Spirit Lord, Has Stirred Our Souls".  I have to believe that Nevelyn surely received the spiritual gift of music, and transferred the blessing of it to hundreds, if not thousands of individuals.  What a gift to the planet!  Thank you, God, for sweet Nevelyn Knisely.  I am truly sorry I didn't follow that prompting, as it would have been a memorable gift to have played for her one last time.  I keep praying that a raincheck will suffice, and maybe someday we'll have a chance to play together again.  I really hope so.  In the meantime I'll keep practicing, even if I'm wearing headphones and "no one else" can hear me.   

The Cave

Hi Casey, 

I know you're not taking song requests on earth right now, but regardless, I'd like to dedicate this post/song to my friends.  Which friends?  Well, to to the friend whose father is virtually disowning her and her family because she has a different view of the definition of "prophet", this is for you.  To the ones who were announced via Stake President over multiple pulpits to have been excommunicated (for kneeling during the sacrament) when they actually have not been cast out, this is for you.  To the ones who's casting off began a long while ago when the sister wore pants to her church just outside the Mormon Corridor, this is for you.  To the ones who are not permitted to speak in Sunday School because talking about Jesus was too "radical", this song's for you.  To the ones conflicted about their Church "closets" and where they stand for fear of losing your employment and support for your family, this is for you.  To those of you who decided to follow Joseph, Emma, and countless early saints' example by receiving rebaptism in living water for renewal of your commitment to God, healing, or cleansing (and then got cut off for it), this is for you too.  To those who are learning how to walk a razor thin line of acceptance vs ostracism, and following the voice of the Lord over and despite all, this post is for you.  And lastly, to those who are observing it all and still trying to make sense of how people can do all this and call themselves Mormon, this is lovingly for you too.  All of you. 

I thought I'd share the second song on Sigh No More, called "The Cave".  I love it when CDs actually include the lyrics in the insert, and this one does.

I think my favorite part (visually) is at 1:15.  Wait for it...

Here are the lyrics, which I am grateful to say are good to read.  Previously when I'd heard this song I misinterpreted them (I thought he said "will let you choke" rather than "won't let you choke"), and it gave a totally different meaning to the song.  Now that I have read the lyrics, I'd say it speaks well to the strivings of the day.  I've added lots of link-ups for context on how it speaks to me, although even the link-ups don't quite speak accurately – just close.  You can decide if it works for you.  Probably not with Mumford was intending, but most songs can often morph into what we want them to be.  So I'm taking a moment for some cathartic release on behalf of my friends.

It's empty in the valley of your heart

The sun it rises slowly as you walk 

Away from all the fears and all the 

faults you've left behind 

The harvest left no food for you to eat

You cannibal, you meat-eater you see

But I have seen the same I know the

shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

'Cause I have other things to fill my time

You take what is yours and I'll take mine

Now let me at the truth which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears

I can see widows and orphans through my tears

And know my call despite my faults and despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope

And I won't let you choke

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain 

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands

And see the world hanging upside down

You can understand dependence when you know the maker's land

So make your siren's call

And sing all you want

I will not hear what you have to say

'Cause I need freedom now

And I need to know how

To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope 

And I won't let you choke 

On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain

And I will change my ways

I'll know my name as it's called again 

I think I could come up with a million variables on each line.  Either way, it speaks.